June 1994 Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #does not meet needs, #publishing needs, #plot was lame, #hated characters, #association, #insulting author, #mean publisher, #insulting publisher

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert the Publisher" "Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs." "Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too." "For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the publisher, #book, #minor changes, #purple dinosaur, #detective, #eliminate the murder, #murder mystery

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert the Publisher" "I'd like to publish your book. All it needs are a few minor changes." "Make the main character a purple dinosaur instead of a detective. Add some upbeat songs and eliminate the murder." "It's a murder mystery!!" "Oh, that's original."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book publishing, #reject authors, #untalented dolts, #publish something, #conventional wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book publishing, #reject people, #dismiss lifes work, #gesture, #witty comment, #not a people person, #dog, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab supplies, #batteries, #electric motor, #wheels, #hand truck, #build go cart, #lab, #building liner accelrator

View Transcript

Transcript

"The new lab supplies are in!" "We got the batteries, and the electric motor!" "Take the wheels off the hand truck and we can start building our go-cart." "I think I'll drop in on the lab." "What are you working on now?" "We're building a linear accelerator." "Marketing insisted." "Good, good. Carry on." "We really don't appreciate him enough." "Let's put a TV in this baby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #dilbert nervous, #date aware, #hypotheisis, #hold hands, #one clammy, #hand loses ontrol

View Transcript

Transcript

LIZ: I can tell that you like me because you don't quite know what to do with your hands. DILBERT: To test my hypothesis I will hold this hand and observe the change. LIZ" The "Control" hand remains limp and clammy. It twin loses control, Hypothesis confirmed. thupa thupa thupa thupa thupa

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nineties woman, #man pay dinner, #slap a man, #threatening

View Transcript

Transcript

LIZ: I'm a nineties kind of woman. I demand equality but the man must pay for dinner. "And recent surveys show that many women my age think it's okay to slap a man." DILBERT: "Really? Did they name the man?" LIZ: "Don't make me come over there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #called to brag, #dogbert headhunting service, #no skill, #pays 100k, #dogbert job

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's Headhunting Service." "I've got a job that pays a hundred thousand per year and requires no skill whatsoever." "No, I didn't say it's available. I called to brag about my own job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job pays, #headhunter, #move, #cold place, #drivers license, #look up gender, #phone call, #man, #inquiring about job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the headhunter Dogbert: The job pays a hundred thousand. But you'll have to move to a place thats so cold that mercury freezes. Man: I'll take it. How bad could it be? Dogbert: Keep your drivers license on you is you can look up your gender if you forget

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"