June 1996 Comic Strips
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Character
Saturday June 01,
1996
Tags not paid big bucks, presentation, use walkie talkie, walk the talk, carol, look at paycheck
Transcript
The Boss says to his secretary, "When Dilbert comes by, tell him to add 'walk the talk' to his presentation." The secretary says to Dilbert, "He wants you to use a 'Walkie-Talkie' to do the presentation." Dilbert asks, "Um . . . Did he say why?" The secretary holds up her paycheck and says, "Hey, look at my paycheck! I just realized I don't get paid the big bucks!"
Sunday June 02,
1996
Tags phil, prince insufficient light, spreme ruler, hideous fates sins, high pay, eternal poverty, useful, appreciated, current job, telecommuting
Transcript
Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"
Monday June 03,
1996
Tags highly fragmented, optimize heard drive, vague, one gig hard drive, pentium processor
Transcript
Dilbert walks into the office building carrying a laptop computer in a case. A security guard with a huge head says to Dilbert, "Halt and submit to the mind scan of 'Brainitor, the Guardian of Security.'" Brainitor closes his eyes, puts his hands on his head and says, "The bag contains one computer . . . 'Pentium' processor . . . one gig hard drive . . . highly fragmented . . ." Brainitor continues, "Please wait while I optimize your hard disk . . ." Dilbert says, "This is vaguely unsettling."
Tuesday June 04,
1996
Tags time, sequence, discreet eventsmlime ofperception, infinite possibilities, magazine, moments, have togather, less often, life
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a chair reading and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you see 'time' as a sequence of discrete events or simply a line of perception through infinite possibilities?" Dilbert answers, "I see 'Time' as more of a magazine." Dogbert says, "You know these moments we have together - we really must have them less often." Dilbert says, "Ask me about 'Life.'"
Wednesday June 05,
1996
Tags pond scum, nice to know, lower staus, brochures, vendor, hurts
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Dilbert says, "Although we are nothing but pond scum in this company . . ." Dilbert continues as they walk into a conference room, "It's nice to know we can still find someone of lower status to torment." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table with a vendor. Dilbert says, "You call these brochures? How can I even consider buying products from a 'ven-duh' such as you?" Wally reaches for the salesperson's ear and says, "Tell me if this hurts."
Thursday June 06,
1996
Tags tormenting the bvendor, bidding economic future, buying decsion, performance measures, vendor challenge, nice t hsirts
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a vendor. Wally says, "You must do our bidding, Vendor. We control your economic future." Dilbert says, "Of course, our buying decision will be based solely on quantifiable performance measurements." Dilbert stands at the end of the table holding a hoop. The salesperson is on his hands and knees on the table. Dilbert says, "Your competitor completed the 'Vendor Challenge Course' in 37 seconds." Wally adds, "And he gave us VERY nice t-shirts."
Friday June 07,
1996
Tags filbert's mother, all you can eat, mall, got a booth
Transcript
Dilbert's mother sits in a chair and says into the phone, "Dilbert, I found your father. He's been at the 'all you can eat' restaurant in the mall since 1989." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and says into the phone, "He's so literal - he didn't want to leave until it was 'all he could eat.'" Dilbert asks, "When's he coming home?" Dilbert's mother answers, "I'm thinking of joining him. He got a booth."
Saturday June 08,
1996
Tags all you can eat booth, since 1989, odd family, look like, burrito night, just kidding, woman, disbelief
Transcript
Dilbert and Liz walk outdoors. Liz says, "I can't believe your father has been living in the 'all you can eat' restaurant since 1989!" Liz continues, "You have the oddest family. What did he look like when you saw him after all these years?" Dilbert replies, "I haven't seen him yet. I'm waiting for 'Burrito Night.'" Liz says, "Now is when you should be saying 'just kidding.'"
Sunday June 09,
1996
Tags Dogbert, gullible, spend money, gullible freinds, touch tone phone
Transcript
Dilbert walks through the house thinking, "Where's Dogbert?" Dilbert sits on the couch and turns the television on with the remote control. He thinks, "Uh-oh." On a tv commercial, Dogbert sits at a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert asks, "Are you gullible? Do you spend money on stupid stuff?" Dogbert continues, "Call the 'Dogbert Gullible Friends Hotline' for help. Only four dollars per minute." On tv, a woman says into a telephone, "Hello, Dogbert. I bought an exercise machine and I'm still lazy." Dogbert says, "Please hold." The woman replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "Call now, and I'll replace your old television with a new one that looks just like it, while you sleep!" Dogbert continues, "If you don't have a touch tone phone, stay on the line . . . Until you get one."
Monday June 10,
1996
Tags advanced material, designing at work, good batch, pyrophoric mean
Transcript
Dilbert and Liz sit at a table looking at various containers. Liz says, "These are some of the advanced materials I'm designing at work. That jar holds a pyrophoric substance." Dilbert picks it up and says, "Let's see." The jar explodes in his face. Dilbert looks charred and small clouds of smoke rise from his head. He says, "Yep, that's a good batch." Liz says, "A person from a smarter gender might have said 'What does "pyrophoric" mean?'"


