July 1997 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Friday July 11,
1997
Tags petting, break up, roxanne, humans, kind, intelligent creatures, freaks out, until intimate
Transcript
Roxanne, the cute girl, and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "As much as I like the petting, I still have to break up with you, Roxanne." Roxanne says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "Humans are kind intelligent, well-adjusted creatures, until you get to know them." Roxanne screams, "May the horned demons of Ixpah smite you like the last six!!!" Dogbert walks away and says, "This is what I'm talking about."
Saturday July 12,
1997
Tags assignment done, copies, black and white, colors, irrelevant changes, printing
Transcript
Wally hands a graph to The Boss. He says, "It's done." The Boss respons, "I thought I asked for that to be in color." Wally says, "Black and white are both colors. So technically... oh, wait I see what you mean." Wally sits in front of his PC. Dilbert says to him, "Is that all it took to satisfy his need for irrelevent changes?" Wally says, "And I did it while the color copies were printing."
Monday July 14,
1997
Tags alice, boss, give presentation, technology, trade show, wiggle room, for or against
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Alice in her cubicle. She sits at a PC. The Boss says, "I've been asked to give a presentation at the trade show." The Boss says, "I'd like you to put that together for me, Alice." Alice asks, "What's your topic?" The Boss replies, "Technology. They didn't say if I'm for it or against it." Alice says, "I'll leave some wiggle room."
Tuesday July 15,
1997
Tags pointless presentation, trade show, usual time wasting, filler, morres law, netscape, comparison, ironically, impassioned reminder, awards
Transcript
Alice approaches the Boss at his desk with a paper in her hands. She says, "I've prepared your pointless presentation for the trade show." She continues, "It's got the ususal time-wasting filler: A graphic of Moore's Law, a "Netscape" comparison, and ironically..." "...it ends with an impassioned reminder to think in new ways, " Alice finishes. The Boss comments, "Maybe I should give out some awards, too."
Wednesday July 16,
1997
Tags babbled, boss, meeting, appointment, office, blah blah, can't shut up, business
Transcript
Asok the intern sits on a couch and the Boss sits in a chair. Asok holds a paper. The Boss gestures and says, "Blah, blah, blah." Asok thinks, "I only have thirty minutes and he's babbled for twenty-eight." Asok thinks, "It took three weeks to get on his calendar. My only hope is to send esp messages for him to shut up." Asok presses his hands to his temples, shuts his eyes tightly and thinks, "Shut up," over and over. He's sweating. The Boss continues to say, "Blah, blah, blah." Carol, the Boss's secretary, says to Asok, "Nice try, but it's time for his next filibuster."
Thursday July 17,
1997
Tags finest executives, created statements, core values, help community, producing state of the art, business soultions, didn't skimp, nine executives
Transcript
The Boss sists at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. He waves a pice of paer and says, "Ten of our finest executives got together and created a statement of our core values." The Boss quotes from the document, "We help the community and the world by producing state-of-the-art business solutions." Wally responds, "I'm glad we didn't skimp and try to do that with only nine executives." Dilbert adds, "Yeah. It might have sucked."
Friday July 18,
1997
Tags statement of core values, change behavior, planning to poiosn, sarcasm, necessary
Transcript
The Boss walks by Dilbert, who follows holding a piece of paper and says, "Can you explain how the company's new "Statement of Core Values" will change my behavior?" The Boss sits down at his desk. Dilbert continues, "I was planning to poison the town's water supply. But wait! It's against our core values!" The Boss says, "Is your sarcasm absolutely necessary?" Dilbert checks the document and says, "Let me check. Hmm... it's not addressed."
Saturday July 19,
1997
Tags famous person, sandra bullock, kevin spacey, eats bacon, kevin who eats bacon, one degree away, close to fascinating
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his PC. Ratbert says, "Give me the name of any famous person." Dilbert says, "Sandra Bullock." Ratbert puts his hands to his temples, closes his eyes and thinks. He says, "Sandra Bullock was in a movie with Kevin Spacey... and Kevin Spacey eats bacon." Ratbert says, "See that? Everyone on Earth is only one degree from someone named Kevin who eats bacon!" Dilbert says, "That is SO close to being fascinating."
Monday July 21,
1997
Tags agenda, ubr, first job, crash dummies, spent a fortune, unfocused boss rambling
Transcript
Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."
Tuesday July 22,
1997
Tags perfromance review, meeting over, stood up, boss, talked about himself, self centered, egotistical, unprofessional
Transcript
The Boss stands behind his desk and says to Asok who is seated in front, "...and that's your performance review. Any questions?" Asok the intern says, "You talked about yourself for the full hour. Can we talk about me?" The Boss says, "Okay. YOU don't seem to know that YOUR meeting is over when YOU see me stand up." Asok says, "ooh."
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