July 2020 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Tuesday July 21,
2020
Carol's Hate Jealousy
Tags office workers, pandemic, business, anger, writing, novel, write, ambitious, intense, hate, jealously, encouragement, die, covid, lane
Transcript
dilbert and carol wearing face masks. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a novel. carol yelling: stay in your lane! i'm not ambitious and i have intense hate-jealousy for anyone who is! dilbert: i was looking for some encouragement. carol: die! die! die!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday July 20,
2020
Dilbert Wants To Write Book
Tags book, boring, colon, elephant, exercise, interesting, people, sarcasm, speaking, technology, write
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert wearing face masks on a walk. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a book. dogbert: can boring people write interesting books? dilbert: maybe i write better than i speak. dogbert: sure, and maybe an elephant lives in my colon.
Sunday July 19,
2020
People Believe Anything
Tags argument, business, people, believe, anything, whisper, campaign, rival, management, dumb, covid, pandemic
Transcript
all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.
Saturday July 18,
2020
All Data Is Wrong
Tags business, co-workers, data, Entertainment, experts, guess, horoscope, inaccurate, new study, office workers, pandemic, sarcasm, face mask, covid
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.
Friday July 17,
2020
Boss Wins In Arbitration
Tags accused, arbitration, bribery, business, covid, employment, fired, job, pandemic, racism, rotten, system, white supremacist, Win
Transcript
boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.
Thursday July 16,
2020
Who Started The Rumor
Tags accused, business, covid, fired, job, managers & supervisors, motive, office workers, pandemic, racism, replacement, rumor, unjust, white supremacist
Transcript
boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.
Wednesday July 15,
2020
Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist
Tags business, managers & supervisors, racism, fired, employees, white supremacist, apathy, career, punch, witness, denial
Transcript
ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.
Tuesday July 14,
2020
Boss Follows Racists On Twitter
Tags business, covid, follow, managers & supervisors, pandemic, proof, racists, reports, staff, twitter, white supremacist
Transcript
ceo: i'm getting reports from your staff that you're a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask and drinking coffee: but i'm not. ceo: we have proof because you follow racists on twitter. boss: what makes you think they are racists? ceo: because they follow you on twitter.
Monday July 13,
2020
Boss Is White Supremacist
Tags business, complaint, covid, denial, envy, managers & supervisors, members, pandemic, staff, system, white supremacist
Transcript
catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.
Sunday July 12,
2020
Wally Took Notes
Tags business, co-workers, forward, hungry, insults, intelligence, managers & supervisors, meeting, notes, pandemic, release, schedule, snack, technology, version, covid
Transcript
staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.
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