July 1990 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Wednesday July 25,
1990
Tags lab rat, macaroni, cheese, through, wall, doctor, die, over the wall
Transcript
A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."
Thursday July 26,
1990
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, lab rat, noise, escaped, laboratory, mac and cheese
Transcript
Dilbert: What's that noise? Dogbert: It sounds like a rat, escaped from a nearby laboratory, chewing a hole through our front door to avoid sure death from a hideous macaroni-and-cheese-experiement. Dilbert: That's amazing. Dogbert: These babies aren't just for good looks, you know.
Friday July 27,
1990
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, lab rat, escape, laboratory, embassy, rat, special, treatment
Transcript
Lab rat: Greetings, dog. I've come to live in your house and escape from my job at the laboratory. You could think of me as a political exile seeking sanctuary in a friendly embassy. Dogbert: I could think of you as a rat. Lab rat: Okay, but I don't expect any special treatment.
Saturday July 28,
1990
Tags Dogbert, lab rat, professor, indifidual, respect, escaped, laboratory, individual
Transcript
Lab Rat: I wasn't getting any respect at the lab... I felt used. Sure... The food was good-and lots of it... But I don't think the professor valued me as an individual. And a rat without respect is like... Like... Dogbert: Like you.
Monday July 30,
1990
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, rat, plague-carrying, vermin, household, personality, television
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Dilbert, this is a rat. Rat, this is Dilbert." The rat says, "I've come to live here!" Dilbert says, "How lucky for us. We were just saying how much we needed a plague-carrying vermin to round out the household." The rat says to Dogbert, "He doesn't have much of a personality . . ." Dogbert replies, I usually drown him out with the television."
Tuesday July 31,
1990
Tags Dilbert, rat, mickey, rodney, rodent, bill, vernon, vermin, ratbert, arm chair, table
Transcript
Dogbert says to a rat, "If you're going to live here, you need a name." The rat asks, "How about 'Mickey?'" Dogbert replies, "No . . . Big trouble. How about 'Rodney the Rodent?'" The rat asks, "How about 'Bill the Rat?'" Dogbert asks, "Vernon the Vermin?" The rat says, "Ratbert."
Sunday July 01,
1990
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, invitation, bother, courtesy, hosts, blitter
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert stand in the hallway of a couple's house. The man says, "We're so glad you guys could stop by." Dilbert replies, "Thanks for inviting us." Dogbert thinks, "We hardly know them." The woman says, "I'd offer you some coffee, but that would be a bother." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . None for me. Thanks." The woman says, "I noticed you didn't bring any food as a courtesy to your hosts. I guess we'll eat when you leave." The man says, "We usually watch television now, but I'll try not to appear bitter about your visit." The man and woman sit in chairs while Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor. The man asks, "Why haven't we done this sooner?" Dogbert replies, "We thought you were scum."
Sunday July 08,
1990
Tags Dilbert, bluffing, control, don't, wing, my, husband, dead, parties, jury, trials, steamroller, porsche
Transcript
The caption says, "What if people had tails? First of all, it would look darned silly." A tail protrudes from Dilbert's pants. The caption says, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker." Dilbert sits at a table playing poker with a man. Dilbert thinks, "He's bluffing." The man's tail wags. He thinks, "Control . . . Don't wag . . ." The caption says, "Jury trials would be simpler." A woman sits in the witness stand and says, ". . . Then I found my husband dead." The judge and a lawyer stare at her wagging tail. The caption says, "And parties would be even more awkward." Dilbert talks to a man with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. The man says, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller." Dilbert's tail wags as he replies, "Tragic . . . Really."
Sunday July 15,
1990
Tags Dilbert, construction, garage, paper, clips, gold, watch, birthdays
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a banquet table with three other people. The Boss stands at the podium and says, "Thank you all for coming to Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration." The Boss continues, "Many of you know that Irv has been pilfering office supplies for his entire career." The Boss continues, "In fact, he's only retiring now because he finished construction on his garage made entirely of paper clips." The Boss continues, "This bill is for $87,000 of personal phone calls made from the office." The Boss continues, "Instead of a gold watch, I'm going to write the current time on this yellow sticky pad and slap it on his forehead." The Boss slaps Irv. The Boss continues, "Now . . . I understand we have some birthdays today . . ."
Sunday July 22,
1990
Tags hairballs, dust, bunny, cultural, home, hide, clumps, under, furniture, nip, bud
Transcript
A large rabbit taps Dogbert on the back. Dogbert turns around and shouts, "Holy hairballs! What are you?!!" The bunny replies, "I am the 'Dust Bunny,' an emerging cultural icon." The bunny explains, "Once a year I come to every home and hide clumps of dust under furniture and major appliances." The dust bunny says, "You must honor me by decorating closet doors and singing dust hymns." Dogbert asks, "What about gifts? Do I get any gifts out of this?" The dust bunny replies, "No. The dust bunny symbolizes only love, goodwill and very poor housekeeping." Dogbert sucks up the dust bunny with a vacuum cleaner. He looks at the reader and says, "I know, it seems harsh, but you have to nip these things in the bud." The dust bunny cries from inside the vacuum, "Okay, gifts!"
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