July 2008 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Thursday July 24,
2008
Tags sympathy, in need of sympathy, so sorry, face injured, being thorough
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need some sympathy." Dogbert says, "I'm so sorry your face looks like that." Dilbert says, "My face isn't injured." Dogbert says, "Well, excuse me for being thorough."
Friday July 25,
2008
Tags ceo, escape justice, support group, thrown out wondow, injured, casts, bandages
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need to find a support group for people who have my same problem." Dilbert says, "Type 'thrown out of a fifth floor window by a CEO who will escape justice.'" A man says, "look who doesn't have a broken leg. Do you think you're better than us?"
Saturday July 26,
2008
Tags deliver papaers, ceo, served him, bob, double faulting
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Did you deliver those legal papers to my CEO?" Bob says, "No, I served him." Dilbert says, "It means the same thing." Bob says, "How could it?" Dilbert says, "No, really, it does." Bob says, "Now I feel bad about double faulting."
Monday July 28,
2008
Tags lawsuit, represent in lawsuit, one condition, do everything, without hesitation
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"
Tuesday July 29,
2008
Tags jury selection, big eyebrows, dumb as you look, manipulate, love, relationships
Transcript
Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."
Wednesday July 30,
2008
Tags court room, judge, lawyer, ceo, witness, defendant, die die die, admits guilt, first question, legal
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"
Thursday July 31,
2008
Tags plaintiff, favor of, weasel, unanimous, wants to leave, juror, jury, jurors box, legal
Transcript
JUROR: "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"
Sunday July 06,
2008
Tags after work, bar, date, drink, false sense, group activity, other people, safety, scam, show up, suspicious, trick, trust
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."
Sunday July 13,
2008
Tags technology changes, chasing knowledge, observe, network problem, servers, satisfied customer
Transcript
Asok says, "Wally, how do you keep up with all of the changes in technology?" Wally says, "Chasing knowledge is a fool's game, Asok." Wally says, "I use experience to answer questions without the burden of knowledge. Observe." A man says, "Wally, if we upgrade our servers, would that solve our network problem?" Wally says, "If the problem is the servers, yes." The man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "There goes another satisfied customer."
Sunday July 20,
2008
Tags failed to accomplish.objectives, physical impossiblities, logical impossibilities, unforeseen problems, spying, consumer fraud, win converstaion
Transcript
The Boss says, "Why have you failed to accomplish any of your objectives this quarter?" Dilbert says, "Well, I took the objectives you gave me and put them into three categories." Dilbert says, "The first group includes physical impossibilities, such as being in two places at the same time." Dilbert says, "The second group includes logical impossibilities, such as anticipating unforeseen problems." Dilbert says, "Last, we have the illegal objectives, including industrial spying and consumer fraud." Dilbert says, "So I spend my time doing things that are both important and legal, while hoping you wouldn't fire me for it." Dilbert says, "Whoa, what just happened? Is it my imagination, or did I just win this conversation?" Dilbert says, "It was my imagination."
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