July 2007 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Wednesday July 11,
2007
Tags knowledge, authority, make decsions, misinterpret, build
Transcript
Dilbert: Does anyone here have any knowledge or any authority to make decisions? woman: "I'm only here to listen and misinterpret." "Let's try to build on that."
Tuesday July 10,
2007
Tags fired, job eliminated, outsourced, comapny, need job, hired, comes back, old job
Transcript
The Boss: "Ted, I'm going to eliminate your function and outsource it to the Dogbert Outsourcing Company." Ted: "I need a job." Dogbert: "You're hired." Ted: "I'M BA-A-ACK!"
Monday July 09,
2007
Tags all hands, creepy hands, conference room, desk, table
Transcript
How was the all hands meeting? "Creepy."
Sunday July 08,
2007
Tags management consulatant, consulting firm, worthless, managing, consulting, hired
Transcript
Dogbert: "You should hire me as your management consultant." Man: "We're a management consulting firm. We don't need a management consultant to consult us." Dogbert: "Are you saying that management consulting is worthless?" Man: "No, I'm saying we already know everything about management consulting." Dogbert: "How can you be so sure I can't help you when you don't know what my advice will be?" Man: "Okay, you're hired. What's your advice?" Dogbert: "Beats me. I'll have to ask my management consultant."
Saturday July 07,
2007
Tags sand wedge, sandwhich, golfing, caddy, losing adavantage, eating quickly, angry intern, hungry
Transcript
The Boss: Give me a sand wedge. Asok: "This sandwich is all I have for lunch. You can take my pride but not my sandwich!" The boss: "I think I'm losing the psychological advantage with my foursome." mmmph chew-chew-chew! hee-hee!!
Friday July 06,
2007
Tags golf tournament, contrast, strikes you, contrast in jobs, secretary and boss
Transcript
The Boss: I'm off to the executive golf tournament. "It just struck me how much contrast there is between your job and mine. Gotta go." Carol: "Let me know if anything else strikes you."
Thursday July 05,
2007
Tags executive golf tournamnet, cigar smokers, foursome, golf cart, gas leak, baked lunch, beans, flint
Transcript
Carol: "I finished planning the annual executive golf tournament." "I put all of the cigar smokers in your foursome in case your golf cart has a gas leak." "Lunch is baked beans and sauerkraut, and I bought you some golf balls made of flint."
Wednesday July 04,
2007
Tags barbecue, freinds, no freinds, make freinds, jogger, desparte, meat, social skills, no social skills, random, Advice
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe I should invite some friends over for a barbecue. Dogbert: "You don't have any friends." Dilbert: "Good point. Maybe I should make some friends first." Dogbert: "Exactly." Dogbert:"Do you like meat?"
Tuesday July 03,
2007
Tags compensation, different classes, segment, paid, relatively unimportant segment
Transcript
CatBert: I decided to segment the compensation of different classes of employees. "You'll be in the segment that gets paid the same no matter what you do." "I call your segment the 'relatively unimportant' segment." Tina: "Catchy."
Monday July 02,
2007
Tags strategic asset, market share, fire yourself, accountabilty
Transcript
The Boss: Human resources is a company's most important strategic asset. "That means it's your fault we're losing market share. Maybe you should fire yourself." "Strategic assets don't like accountability."
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