July 2020 Comic Strips
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Character
Sunday July 05,
2020
Tracking Dilbert
Tags body cam, freedom, keystrokes, location, managers & supervisors, phone, report, status, technology, track, video conference, work at home, working
Transcript
dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.
Sunday July 12,
2020
Wally Took Notes
Tags business, co-workers, forward, hungry, insults, intelligence, managers & supervisors, meeting, notes, pandemic, release, schedule, snack, technology, version, covid
Transcript
staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.
Sunday July 19,
2020
People Believe Anything
Tags argument, business, people, believe, anything, whisper, campaign, rival, management, dumb, covid, pandemic
Transcript
all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.
Wednesday July 01,
2020
Cooties Contact Tracing
Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero
Transcript
doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.
Thursday July 02,
2020
Wally Sneezes His Mask
Friday July 03,
2020
Quarantine Before Date
Tags date, desperation, dinner, office workers, quarantine, technology, two weeks
Transcript
dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.
Saturday July 04,
2020
Lack Of Social Contact
Tags office workers, pandemic, technology, social, contact, best, week, covid, cope
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.
Sunday July 26,
2020
Manage With Data
Tags analysis, business, data, face maks, leadership, manage, managers & supervisors, paralysis, technology, useable
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.
Monday July 06,
2020
Five Pages Of Forms
Tags salesman, vendor, application, technology, cancel, order, easy, difficult, signature
Transcript
vendor salesman: just fill out these five pages of information, and we're good to go. dilbert: no. cancel the order, and i'll find an easier vendor to work with. vendor salesman: in that case, all i need is your signature. dilbert: that worked? continued...
Tuesday July 07,
2020
Refusing Works
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, refuse, stupid, power, leash, head, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...


