August 2008 Comic Strips - Page 1
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Character
Sunday August 31,
2008
Tags genius, scheduled, four oclock, judeg, accomplishments, offcie, taught better
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, where do you think you're going?" The Boss says, "It's only four o'clock." Wally says, "What a strange thing to say. Did anyone care how many hours a week Beethoven worked?" Wally says, Genius can't be scheduled." Wally says, "Judge my by my accomplishments, not the number of hours I spend at the office." The Boss says, "Okay, fine. What did you accomplish today?" Wally says, "I just taught you how to be a better manager." Wally says, "What? Did you think it was going to happen on its own?"
Saturday August 30,
2008
Tags elf, feel special, likes pets, random stack, birthday, birthday cards
Transcript
Alice says, "Today is Shelly's birthday. We should make her feel special." Alice says, "Do you still have that random stack of birthday cards you got on sale last year?" Dilbert says, "I'm all over it." Alice says, "She likes pets. The closest thing you have is an elf." Dilbert says, "Draw whiskers on it."
Friday August 29,
2008
Tags finished contract, miocene epoch, hoof fossil, signature, rushed
Transcript
A lawyer says, "I just finished a contract I started during the Miocene epoch." The lawyer says, "...Assuming this hoof fossil is a signature." The lawyers says, "These things can't be rushed."
Thursday August 28,
2008
Tags company lawyer, simple agreement, impenetrable gibberish, sour taste, choke my suspenders, exercise, eat right, finish, health
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "Can you turn a simple agreement into impenetrable gibberish?" The lawyer says, "Absolutely. I can also leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth and make you want to choke me with my suspenders." The lawyer says, "If you exercise and eat right, you might still be alive when I finish it." Dilbert says, "Good enough."
Wednesday August 27,
2008
Tags ergonomics, guts moist, bunch up, dried up spleen
Transcript
Wally says, "This week I focused on ergonomics." Wally says, "I kept my guts moist so they wouldn't bunch up." The Boss says, "I don't think that is ergonomics." Wally says, "tell that to my dried-up spleen."
Tuesday August 26,
2008
Tags leaning, sitting, magazine, piece of mind
Transcript
Sitting There Wally thinks, "Leaning? What's that got to do with sitting?" Wally thinks, "I remember when Sitting There meant something. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." A voice says, "Frankly, we ran out of things to say about sitting." Wally says, "I find that hard to believe!"
Monday August 25,
2008
Tags company secrets, Dilbert, elbonia, laptop, mittens, spies stole
Transcript
Elbonia An Elbonian says, "Our spies stole this laptop from an employee named Dilbert." The Elbonian says, "Ha ha! We will find his company's secrets and use them!" Another Elbonian says, "heh-heh." Six months later An Elbonian says, "Do you remember mittens? I loved having mittens." The other Elbonian says, "Shut up!!"
Sunday August 24,
2008
Tags seminar, teach, make millions, scam, seminar name, crush hopes, dreams, bitter and broken, nominal fee, invest, 100 to one million
Transcript
Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."
Saturday August 23,
2008
Tags elbonian spies, stole lap top, confidentail data, virus, destroy morale, hope, business plan
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"
Friday August 22,
2008
Tags power point slide, white space, one page, one bullet point, long one, meeting, presentation, business
Transcript
Wally says, "As requested, I fit my presentation on one PowerPoint slide." Wally says, "I had to use all of the white space, but I think it was worth it to fit everything on one page." Wally says, "It's actually only one bullet point, but it's a long one."

