August 2003 Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags legal department, products, highly defective, user specification, ate letter, hugely defective prodcut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our legal department advises us to destroy any documents that show we know our products are hugely defective." "CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP, CHEW, CHEW, GULP." Alice: "Do you have room in there for the user specifications?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billion dollar product line, designed and launched, meets expectations, high expectations, worng

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags approve plan, software commitee, soar like eagles, millions of dollars, sidetracked, eagles, software, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We can either wait three months for the software committee to approve our plan..." Dilbert: "Or we can soar like eagles, and act without approval, saving millions of dollars!" Dilbert: "Please don't be sidetracked by the analogy." The Boss: "Since when do eagles use software?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags process of getting approval, hard way, meeting, no direct answers, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The man who couldn't give direct answers. Alice: "Did you ask your boss for approval?" Man: "Now i will explain the process for getting approval." Alice: "Do you want to do this the hard way?" Man: "First, you ask for a meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags multiple personalities, fired cowboy, little girl, twins, aftrenoon, mime

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm trying to fire a guy who has multiple personalities." "I'm exhausted. I fired the cowboy, the little girl, and the astronaut this morning. I'll do the twins later this afternoon." "I'm tired, but it's a good tired." "Can I do the mime?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags huge galatians project, disqualified, one minute late, future depends on win bid, winning bid, future of company, can't be late, line dancing sign

View Transcript

Transcript

"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scolded by employee, boss late, dumb move, irish line dancing, mail document, late bid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spam filter, sexy photos, tiffany sent email, boss, eyes pop

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Someone named Tiffany sent me e-mail. YAGAA WAGGA!! Alice: someone turned off the spam filter.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disappointing people, meeting start late, answer is misleading, deadline ignored, work is shoddy, empthy, blocking view of wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me." Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done." DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy." Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss aprroaches, slices clicks comouter, filthy images, projecting himself, obvious, paranoid

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I notice that you always click something when I approach." The Boss: "Obviously you've been using company time to look at indescribably filthy images." Alice: "And why does that seem so obvious to you?" The Boss: "Let's leave me out of this."