September 2007 Comic Strips - Page 1
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Character
Sunday September 02,
2007
Tags ceos son, joining dept., intern, mentor, little spy, tell hi dad, list of compliments, go somewhere, three questions, desk, kill him
Transcript
The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."
Sunday September 09,
2007
Tags tesks, intern, anti meeting spell, traffic estimates, barraged with questions, fights ensue, new service, web application, all technology, internet bubble, platform
Transcript
Asok: "I didn't have time to finish my tasks for this meeting." Wally: "No problem." "If you get cornered, read this powerful anti-meeting spell." "Asok, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Asok: "Um...I was wondering if our new service is Web 2.0 or Web 1.0." "Obviously it's a Web 2.0 application because of the tag-based folksonomies." "No it isn't. All of our technology existed before the Internet bubble." "'When' doesn't matter. It only matters that we use the Web as a platform!" "Everything is a platform!" Asok: "Freaky."
Sunday September 16,
2007
Tags contract changes, last month, negotiate, not authorized, hope to wear you down
Transcript
Dilbert: "You didn't make any of the contract changes we agreed on last month." Ted: "That's how I negotiate." "I'm not authorized to make any changes to the contract." "And the executives who have that power will think I'm not doing my job if I ask them to do it." "So I agree to everything you ask, then I don't put any of it in the contract." "Over the course of several months I hope to wear you down and make you sign the contract as is." Dilbert: "Can you at least change section three the way I asked? Ted: "Sure. No problem." "I'll see you in a month."
Sunday September 23,
2007
Tags changed product design, old design, new design, balme, ahtred, same person
Transcript
CoWorker: I changed the product design. Dilbert: "It's worse than the old design." Coworker: "You asked me to come up with a new design." Dilbert: "I meant a new design that's better than the old design." Coworker: "Great. You could have told me that before I did all this work." "How do you think this makes me feel?" "No one would blame me for hating you." "I'm the only sane person in this company."
Sunday September 30,
2007
Tags carpet fishing, devised a game, computer, string, randomly picks location, hooked fish marlin, salmon, killing time, technology
Transcript
Alice: "What are you doing?" Dilbert: "Carpet fishing." "It's a sport I invented." "I divided the carpet in my cubicle into a numbered grid." "Then I wrote a computer program that randomly picks a carpet location and a type of fish about once an hour." "If it picks the carpet location where I happen to be dangling this string, it means I hooked a fish." "Yesterday I caught a marlin." "Did you come here for some reason other than to spoil the salmon run?"
Saturday September 01,
2007
Tags typo in budget, 2 things, can't buy, hardware, software, boss, offcie, engineering
Transcript
The Boss: "I made a typo in my annual budget request, but don't worry." "There are only two things you can't buy for the test lab this year." "Hardware and software."
Monday September 03,
2007
Tags project, 300 days, complete, finish by 5oclock, clean desk, fired, lose interest
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired all of you because the project will take 300 man days to complete." "There are 300 of you, so I want you to finish by five o'clock and clean out your desks. You're all fired." "If it takes more than one meeting to manage a project, I lose interest."
Tuesday September 04,
2007
Tags finished work, high profile assignment, create docuemnt, rout it around, how to keep intern busy
Transcript
Asok: "I finished all of my work, and now I'm available for another high profile assignment." The Boss: "Create a document and route it around for approval." Asok: "On what topic?" The Boss: "How to keep an intern busy."
Wednesday September 05,
2007
Thursday September 06,
2007
Tags fired, incompetent, everything, teach dilbert, how to do your job
Transcript
The Boss: "Carl, I have to fire you." "You're totally incompetent at everything you do." "Before you go, I'd like you to teach Dilbert how to do your job."


