September 2020 Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
Sunday September 20,
2020
Silencer In Facemask
Tags bored, business, covid, face mask, hear, managers & supervisors, office workers, play, silencer, talk
Transcript
wally: i installed a silencer in our pointy-haired boss's face mask. now he's the only one who can hear himself talk, but he doesn't know it. here he comes. play along. boss has speech bubble with no words. boss's back is turned and has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh. okay. thanks. and i can do the same thing to the face mask of anyone else who bores me. dilbert has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh.
Saturday September 19,
2020
Wally's Restroom Time
Tags covid-19, managers & supervisors, responsibility, employee, tracker, men's room, social distancing, business, face mask
Transcript
boss: according to my employee tracker, you spent 45 minutes in stall four of the men's room today. wally: i thought you said the purpose of tracking us was to ensure social distancing. boss: i think you have to accept some responsibility for believing it.
Friday September 18,
2020
Chip For Tracking
Tags business, managers & supervisors, chip, track, employee, badge, convenience, excuse, coincedence, face mask, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: we are adding a chip to your employee badges so we can track your social distancing. dilbert: that sounds like a convenient excuse to do something you've always wanted to do anyway. boss: that's probably a coincidence.
Thursday September 17,
2020
New Words
Tags managers & supervisors, new words, racist, sexist, power, master switch, server, shelve, politically correct, face mask
Transcript
catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.
Wednesday September 16,
2020
Trick Question
Tags managers & supervisors, business, interview, question, trick, blm, black lives matter, dismissed, employment
Transcript
catbert: we added the following trick question to our interview process... do black lives matter? interviewee: yes, of course. catbert: say more about that. interviewee: i think all... catbert yelling and pointing: dismissed!
Tuesday September 15,
2020
Doubled Income
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask
Transcript
boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.
Monday September 14,
2020
Survivor Guilt
Tags coronavirus, managers & supervisors, business, double, income, pandemic, covid, survivor guilt, sympathy, face mask
Transcript
ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.
Sunday September 13,
2020
Applying Math To Guesses
Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, employment, business, analysis, discount rate, installation, maintenance, project, technology, math, guess, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.
Saturday September 12,
2020
Augmented Reality
Tags office workers, business, introduction, reality, glasses, social media, history, impressions, dumb, face mask
Transcript
girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!
Friday September 11,
2020
Betting On Management
Tags covid-19, business, technology, confidence, management, infection, coronavirus, bet, stupidity, income, betting, health
Transcript
dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.
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