September 2019 Comic Strips - Page 3

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Head Banging Outcome

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Head Banging Outcome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, frustration, office workers

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Wally: What happened to your head? Dilbert: I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration with my co-workers. Wally: Is it working? Dilbert: I think so because I don't remember your name.

Thinking

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Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags danger, employees, frustration, office workers, thinking

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Dilbert: Please don't stare at my head. I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration. Alice: That sounds dangerous. Dilbert: I thought so too, at first. Alice: And now? Dilbert: Now I don't think. I'm much happier.

Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed

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Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confused, employees, frustration, garbage, help, office workers

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Garbage Man: Looks like you've been beating your head against a wall in frustration. Stick your head in this garbage can to fix it. Dilbert: Why is this working? Garbage Man: Why wouldn't it?

Would It Look The Same

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Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, smart

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Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Try Hiding

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Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boss, compliment, criticism, ego, employees, managers & supervisors

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Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Curse Of Competence

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Curse Of Competence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, employees, office workers, problem, sarcasm, condescending

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Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.

Juggling 17 Balls

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Juggling 17 Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, criticism, employees, office workers, overwhelmed, juggle

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Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.

Hypothetical Observer

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Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot

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Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Ron Moore

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Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, insults, jokes, mistake, sales, customers

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Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Casserole For Pot Luck

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Casserole For Pot Luck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Food, health & safety, office, office workers, casserole, potluck, inspection, home, kitchen

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tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.