September 2020 Comic Strips - Page 3

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Wally's Restroom Time

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Wally's Restroom Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags covid-19, managers & supervisors, responsibility, employee, tracker, men's room, social distancing, business, face mask

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boss: according to my employee tracker, you spent 45 minutes in stall four of the men's room today. wally: i thought you said the purpose of tracking us was to ensure social distancing. boss: i think you have to accept some responsibility for believing it.

Conflict Resolution

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Conflict Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, anger, office workers, conflict, resolution, discussion, temperature, idiots, yammering, sarcasm, insult

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boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.

Omit Information

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Omit Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, illness, managers & supervisors, business, project, summary, mistakes, ethical, lie, violation, context, face mask

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boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?

Business Lying

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Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask

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tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Tina's Soul

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Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask

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tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Karma Is Real

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Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, managers & supervisors, business, team, karma, name, new, team member, hide, face mask

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dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Karma And Wally

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Karma And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, family & parenting, office workers, name, karma, Advice, discuss, face mask

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wally: why did your parents name you karma? karma: i don't have parents. i am karma. wally: i suppose we have lots to discuss. karma: let's start with volume one.

Quotes Out Of Context

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Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, business, context, dumb, employment, face mask, malice, managers & supervisors, out of context, project, quote, writing

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co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Critics Not Intelligent

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Critics Not Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, office workers, employees, smart, critics, agreement, face mask

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alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!

Jumping Out A Window

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Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, boss, listen, repeat, jump, window, bluff, reiterate, parachute

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dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.