September 1990 Comic Strips
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Character
Sunday September 30,
1990
Tags veterinarian, Dogbert, doc, happy, tongue, worried, mirthful
Transcript
Dogbert walks toward the Dog Doctor. The veterinarian says, "Hi, Dogbert. How are you?" Dogbert replies, "Not so good, Doc." Dogbert explains, "I have a bad case of 'happy tongue.'" The vet says, "Hmm . . . Is your tongue happy for any particular reason?" Dogbert replies, "No reason at all. I'm quite worried." The vet says, "I'm going to prescribe these tongue depressors. Use one every time your tongue gets too mirthful." Dogbert leaves the office humming. The doctor thinks, "I like that dog."
Saturday September 29,
1990
Tags dinosaurs, Dilbert, Dogbert, special, bob, animal behavior, birds, careless
Transcript
Dogbert walks down the stairs holding a gadget. Dogbert says, "If Dilbert wanted me to have this when he died it must have been special to him. But what is it?" Bob the Dinosaur says, "We dinosaurs have a method for handling things we don't understand." Dogbert says, "Tell me." Bob replies, "We stomp it to bits and evolve into birds who don't care."
Friday September 28,
1990
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, bob, gadget, custodian, hyperelectronic, induction, transmutant, geoplasmic, collectimizer, soap, dispenser
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "That's all Dilbert left you in his will? A gadget?" Dogbert replies, "I'm just the custodian." Bob says, "Maybe it's some kind of hyper-electronic induction transmutant geoplasmic nodal collectimizer." Dogbert replies, "Maybe . . . But I'm guessing bathroom soap dispenser." Bob picks up the device and asks, "Can I change my guess?"
Thursday September 27,
1990
Tags Dogbert, bob, custody, invention, dinosaurs, will, death
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "What did Dilbert leave you in his will?" Dogbert replies, "He stiffed me." Dogbert holds a device and explains, "All I got is custody of this stupid invention of his . . . I don't even know what it does." Bob says, "I get it . . . He 'stiffed' you . . . Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "Try to stay with me, Bob."
Wednesday September 26,
1990
Tags Dilbert, death, therapist, sorrow, bottled, legally, inherit, humans
Transcript
Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.
Tuesday September 25,
1990
Tags Dilbert, grief, scum, caskets, newspapers, denial, anger, economics
Transcript
The caption says, "The three stages of grief; denial." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "No . . . Dilbert can't be dead." The caption says, "Anger." Dogbert stands on his pillow and thinks, "I'll kill the scum who did it!" The caption says, "Economics." Dogbert says into the phone, "No expensive caskets. Just wrap him in newspapers; he would have wanted it that way."
Monday September 24,
1990
Tags Dogbert, cop, Dilbert, hunted, killed, wild, deer, fingerprints, evidence
Transcript
Dogbert answers the front door and asks, "Yes?" A police officer says, "Mr. Dogbert, I have bad news." The policeman continues, "It appears that Dilbert was hunted down and killed by wild deer." The officer continues, "We think it was a professional job; they didn't leave fingerprints."
Sunday September 23,
1990
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, procedures, rules, unmanageable, interactions, request, additional, Food, p-39, liquids
Transcript
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've decided we need more structure in this household." Dilbert continues, "Things are out of control . . . We have no procedures . . . No rules . . . It's totally unmanageable." Dilbert points to a file cabinet and continues, "That's why I've developed a set of forms to guide our daily interactions." Dilbert continues, "For example, this P-38 form is a request for additional food." Dilbert continues, "The P-39 is for liquids and the P-40 is a convenient way to request both food and liquids." Dogbert says, "Give me a P-39 form . . . I'm a little dry." Later, Dogbert hands Dilbert the form and says, "Under 'purpose for distribution' I put 'thirsty.' I hope that's right." Dilbert writes on the form and says, "Request denied . . . You used an outdated form."
Saturday September 22,
1990
Tags Dilbert, moose, programmer's, daze, opposable thumbs, arrow
Transcript
Dilbert's head is mounted on a plaque hanging on a tree. A deer tells another deer, ". . . When he saw my headlights, he froze and his eyes got big like this." The deer continues, "I tracked him back to his computer and waited until he slipped into a programmer's daze . . ." The deer concludes, "Then I plugged him with an arrow." The other deer says, "Wow! You did that without opposable thumbs?!!"
Friday September 21,
1990
Tags mother nature, litterbugs, human, Dilbert, example, gary larson, Cartoon
Transcript
Mother Nature: Mother Nature has decided to be lenient with you human litterbugs. You can stay on the planet, but I'll have to make an example of you.


