Not Allowed To Eat Comic Strips - Page 1
258 Results for Not Allowed To Eat
View 1 - 10 results for not allowed to eat comic strips. Discover the best "Not Allowed To Eat" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 06, 2019's comic on:
Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.
Share December 29, 2018's comic on:
Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!
Share July 26, 2018's comic on:
Share July 25, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.
Share May 13, 2018's comic on:
Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.
Share April 05, 2018's comic on:
Share January 07, 2018's comic on:
Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?
Share December 18, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Our apps are so addictive that we've triggered a zombie apocalypse. Our users no longer interact with the living. They can only see and hear their own phones, Boss: Do the zombies eat brains? Dilbert: Yes. we call it "share" button.
Share November 16, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.
Share April 03, 2017's comic on:
Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.