Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 1
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Dilbert stands behind a broken desk chair and says into the phone, "My chair is broken. Can you send a new one from the warehouse?" A man at a desk replies, "No can do, my friend. All we have is chairs with deluxe armrests. They're only for managers who are one level higher than you." The man says, "What do I suggest? I dunno . . . Maybe take some classes at night. I'm sure you can get promoted eventually."
CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!
Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.
Boss: Asok, I can't promote you because the other managers don't know you. Asok: That's because you shut me out of meetings and take credit for my work. Boss: That sounds unsolvable.
Boss: It took us three days at the executive retreat to come up with a name for our new procurement policy. We named it the "Procurement Operations Oversight Policy." Dilbert: P.O.O.P.? Boss: Do you know how many managers it takes to come up with a good name? Dilbert: A few more than you had?
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.
Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic, #filling in for boss, #workstation vacation, #being in charge, #pverarted, #martini glass, #drinking, #umbrella in drink, #secretary, #business
Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."