Pay Premiums Comic Strips - Page 1
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326 Results for Pay Premiums
View 1 - 10 results for pay premiums comic strips. Discover the best "Pay Premiums" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 15,
1997
Tags Catbert, evil hr director, life insurance policy, pay premiums, collect insurance, valuable, company, don't like cats, business
Transcript
Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."
Monday January 31,
2011
Tags fear, terrorists, viruses, elbonian kidnappers, refused ransom pay, stockholm syndrome, identifying with captors, beating up, contagious
Transcript
Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."
Tuesday December 13,
2011
Tags big business, secondhand sales, tablet computer, business, design logo, pay another company, other companies, watch, engineers, degrade, low morale
Transcript
Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?
Saturday August 17,
1991
Tags Dilbert, car, salesman, Dogbert, lying, part, crime, pay, retired, readers digest, special, story
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."
Saturday September 21,
1991
Tags park bench, Dogbert, parties, lift, heavy, sound, dumb, body, builder, pay
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a muscular man. The large man says, "It's not easy to be a professional body builder." The man continues, "At parties, people ask what I do. I have to say 'I lift heavy things, then I put them down.' It makes me sound dumb." Dogbert asks, "How's the pay?" The man asks, "Pay?"
Wednesday November 20,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, alice, laid off, bruce, calculated, friends, pay cuts, company, gosh, office, furniture
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand behind a man's desk. Wally says, "We're sorry to hear you're getting laid off, Bruce." Wally continues, "We calculated that if ten of your friends here took ten percent pay cuts then the company can keep you." Bruce says excitedly, "Gosh! You'd do that for me?" Wally replies, "No. We're here to look at your office furniture."
Thursday May 28,
1992
Tags the boss, Dogbert, consultant, suffering, pain, severance pay
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I need an outside consultant like you to help with layoffs." The Boss continues, "My main concern is to minimize the pain and hardship that goes with this." Dogbert asks, "With generous severance pay?" The Boss replies, "No, I think that would only make my pain and suffering worse."
Tuesday June 09,
1992
Tags the boss, slogan, inspire, Dilbert, quality, extra, pay, alice
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally, Brenda another employee, "What the department needs is a slogan to inspire us." The Boss continues, "Our new slogan is 'We Are Quality.'" A woman says, "Suddenly I feel like working long hours for no extra pay." The Boss says, "It's working!"
Wednesday February 17,
1993
Tags ted, the boss, typo, budget, spreadsheet, pay, work, happiest, day, life
Transcript
An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."
Friday June 24,
1994
Tags nineties woman, man pay dinner, slap a man, threatening
Transcript
LIZ: I'm a nineties kind of woman. I demand equality but the man must pay for dinner. "And recent surveys show that many women my age think it's okay to slap a man." DILBERT: "Really? Did they name the man?" LIZ: "Don't make me come over there."