401k Money Gone Comic Strips - Page 1
676 Results for 401k Money Gone
View 1 - 10 results for 401k money gone comic strips. Discover the best "401k Money Gone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 05, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert stand on either side of a device. Dogbert says, "I think you should see a lawyer before unleashing this new invention on mankind." Later, Dilbert sits in an attorney's office. Dilbert says, ". . . I'm afraid my new invention will expose me to lots of lawsuits." Dilbert asks, "Will you advise me?" The lawyer replies, "No. Sounds like I can make more money by suing you."
Share May 09, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing. He says to Dilbert, "I'm writing my first business management book, 'Managing in a Bureaucracy.'" Dilbert reads a draft, "You know you're in a bureaucracy when a hundred people who think 'A' get together and compromise on 'B.'" Dilbert asks, "Think anybody will read it?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't matter. The real money is on the lecture circuit."
Share May 28, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"
Share June 03, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."
Share June 06, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Admit it: you don't think I'm manly enough to take sky diving lessons, do you?" Dogbert replies, "That never crossed my mind." Dilbert says, "Good." Dogbert says, "However, it did occur to me that you could be the first sky diver to grab his necktie instead of the ripcord and choke himself to death on the way down."
Share June 15, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a holograph of a flower bouquet. Dilbert says, "The big advantage of my holographic flower invention is that you get infinite simulated bouquets." Dilbert continues, "You can give it to a girlfriend and program it to change on all special occasions." Dilbert says, "Just think of the money you can save over a relationship." Dogbert asks, "By never having a second date?"
Share August 12, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert puts a coin in a newspaper machine and thinks, "Sometimes I get this wicked urge to take two newspapers and only pay for one." Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "What's the worst that can happen? Besides, this machine ate my money last time." Dilbert looks at a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of him stealing the newspaper and the headline says, "Thief!"
Share August 26, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "According to Einstein, time slows down as you approach the speed of light." Dogbert asks, "Didn't he also prove that time flies when you're having fun?" Dogbert asks, "So, if you walk slower, do you have more fun or just get more light? Were we finished here?" Dilbert is gone.
Share October 15, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, ". . . Therefore, Curly must have been the smartest of all the Stooges." The telephone rings. Dilbert answers the phone and shouts, "I won WHAT?!!" Dilbert picks up Dogbert and cries, "I won the lottery! We're millionaires, Dogbert!!" Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door to a news reporter and a television camera. The reporter says, "Global News - may I interview you on your sudden wealth?" The reporter shoves a microphone in Dilbert's face and asks, "What would you like to say to the entire planet?" The caption says, "The wealth had come quickly . . ." Dilbert stammers, "Er . . . Um . . ." The caption says, "And just as quickly, it was gone." Dilbert says into the microphone, "Drinks for everybody!"
Share October 16, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I spent all of your money. Terribly sorry." Dilbert says, "You what?!" Dilbert says angrily, "This is outrageous! How can you spend all of MY money?!!" The woman responds, "Oh, Mr. Moneybags, like it was SO MUCH." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "Oooh! I am ACTIVELY considering taking my business elsewhere!" The teller asks, "Are you making a deposit or just wasting my time?"