Ability To Focus Comic Strips - Page 1
96 Results for Ability To Focus
View 1 - 10 results for ability to focus comic strips. Discover the best "Ability To Focus" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 30, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert looks into a huge microscope and says, "My goodness! It looks like I've discovered an entire subatomic civilization!" A microscopic organism says, "Hey! What are you staring at?!!" Dilbert says, "I am Dilbert. I mean you no harm." The organism says, "You're looking at the incredibly tiny planet of 'Minimus 6.'" Dilbert asks, "Minimus 6? That means there are five other planets like yours!" Dilbert says, "Let me get you focused a bit better . . ." Dilbert crunches the sample. Dilbert sits on the front steps with his head in his hands. Dogbert says, "And I loved the part when you said, 'I mean you no harm.'"
Share December 13, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Some say it is man's ability to reason which separates him from mere animals." Dogbert says, "Yeah, but . . ." Dogbert continues, "Surely you realize that in the animal kingdom there is no equivalent to 'All-Star Wrestling.'" Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Ooh - we're missing it right now." Dogbert says, "Stomp your foot twice if you're following any of this at all."
Share October 24, 1990's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.
Share October 25, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."
Share August 31, 1992's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I'm sending all of you to the 'Rivers and Trees' management course." The Boss continues, "There you'll be asked to perform a variety of dangerous tasks in the woods. Your survival will depend on your creativity and ability to work together." Dilbert says, "Oh, so it's a team-building exercise." The Boss replies, "I think of it more as a headcount reduction thing."
Share June 02, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert, Dilbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko yells at Dilbert, "You adults have totally messed up the planet!! Where's the accountability??!" Noriko continues, "You know our implied social contract! You take care of the kids, then we take care of you when you're old. That's how it's supposed to work." Dilbert says, "Well, I . . ." Noriko yells, "The deal is OFF!!"
Share July 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a model of Dilbert's Bioworld experiment. Dilbert says, "I've completed the design for Bioworld. Have you selected the volunteers?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert reads a list and says, "So . . . These are the brave people whose lives will depend on my ability to engineer a balanced ecology." Dilbert says, "Seven car salesmen plus Ratbert . . ." Dogbert says, "Coincidence."
Share August 22, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert says, "The great thing about being human is that I'm superior to all other animals." Dogbert asks, "On what do you base that absurd conclusion?" Dilbert replies, "Humans have the ability to kill any other animal. Therefore, we are superior." Dogbert says, "You could be slaughtered by chipmunks if they ever decide to gang up." Dilbert responds, "But they wouldn't decide to do that. That's why humans are superior." Dilbert continues, "Chipmunks waste their days by eating nuts and playing instead of plotting ways to kill other species." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert says, "It's futile to argue with you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you." A chipmunk in the tree says, "I say we kill him. Is anybody with me?"
Share February 12, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: I found a way to profit from my innate cuteness. Introducing the limited edition "Baby Dogbert" ceramic figurine! Dilbert: I see - its a first aid device to induce vomiting. Dogbert: The focus group was a disaster.
Share February 13, 1994's comic on:
"That joke was not funny. You're insensitive, Dogbert." "Well, here we go with the 'insensitive dog bashing'." "Is it my fault I was born without the ability to sense the feelings of others?" "Oh, sure, I wish I could be like you." "Somehow you know exactly what it feels like to a different gender, race, lifestyle or body." "But I'm insensitive. All I know is how I feel!! And I'm proud of it!" "But you'd understand that, if you weren't insensitive about insensitivity!!" "When you put it like that, I feel kinda bad." "Who cares?"