Closest Things Comic Strips - Page 1

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409 Results for Closest Things

View 1 - 10 results for closest things comic strips. Discover the best "Closest Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1989's comic on:


Tags #marriage, #pet ownership, #sell, #relationships

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you realize that if we stay together for seven years, we are considered married by common law?" Dogbert continues, "That means I own half of all your worldly possessions." Dogbert continues, "I plan to sell my half . . . Maybe buy some tasteful things instead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #doghouse, #pet, #pet peeve, #animals

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Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #boring, #eat, #sarcasm

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The caption says, "How to be boring: 'Great Things I Have Eaten' series." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "But by far, the best baked potato I've ever eaten was six years ago . . ." The caption says, "The victim may try sarcasm to relieve the boredom." Dogbert says, "Fascinating, now could you think out loud all of the possible dates this may have occurred?" The caption says, "Sarcasm won't work." Dilbert says, "Well, it could have been on October 6th . . . Or maybe the 16th. Was that a Tuesday?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nature, #hate, #birthday party, #protection

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "You know what I hate?" Dogbert asks, "What?" Dilbert continues, "I hate it when hundreds of people get together and throw a surprise birthday party for me." Dogbert responds, "It's amazing how nature protects us from the things we hate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #listening, #conclusion, #consciousness

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Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #working, #reference, #inadequate, #talking, #pages

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Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dating, #love, #relevant, #smooch, #rejection

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "What I look for first in a man is honesty." Dilbert says, "Okay . . . I'd like to skip this boring conversation and go smooch." The woman says, "I didn't mean honesty about relevant things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #note, #Dilbert, #potato, #glasses, #eyes, #contact, #lenses, #reference, #Dogbert, #lady di, #witch, #witch's curse

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The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cult, #connotation, #morons, #lives, #armchair, #bad things

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think you've taken your cult idea too far." Dogbert sits in a chair with a crown on his head. Dogbert asks, "Who says it's a cult?" Dilbert replies, "YOU said it's a cult!" Dogbert says, "That word has a bad connotation." Dogbert says, "I prefer to think of it as a bunch of morons who have nothing better to do with their lives."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #programmed, #computer, #analyze, #situation, #predict, #female, #response, #sad, #movie, #date, #receive flowers, #corner it

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed my computer to analyze any situation and predict the female response." Dilbert continues, "This should clarify a few things." Dilbert continues, "I'll type in 'watch sad movie.'" Dilbert says, "Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Now I'll try 'receive flowers.' Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Let's try 'date with Dilbert.' Result: crying." Dogbert says, "Boy, the truth gets vicious when you corner it."