Idiotic Coworkers Comic Strips - Page 1
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85 Results for Idiotic Coworkers
View 1 - 10 results for idiotic coworkers comic strips. Discover the best "Idiotic Coworkers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 08,
1994
Tags actual fashion, fridays, garanimals, new dress code, scrutinized, sears
Transcript
The Boss: The new dress code allows casual clothing on fridays. Wally and Dilbert: Gulp The Boss: You'll have to make actual fashion decisions that will be scrutinized by hundreds of your coworkers! wally: Im thinking "garanimals" form 'sears"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday July 28,
1994
Tags gerard depardieu, ceo, productive work, overhead transparencies, exaggerate value, uglier coworkers, actors
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do. Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value. The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors. Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.
Monday November 28,
1994
Tags bigger portion, success of team, pay depends on coworkers, priorities change
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're changing the salary plan to make a bigger portion depend on the success of the team." The Boss continues, "We reason that if your pay depends on the success of co-workers, then your priorities will change." Wally and Dilbert look at each other. Wally and Dilbert stand by the printer. Wally looks at a document and says, "Now THAT'S a pretty resume!" Dilbert says, "Stop hogging the good printer."
Wednesday November 30,
1994
Tags dogberts tech support, dierctions, arrange parts, piles, stand on chair, above cubicle wall, shout to coworkers, read manual
Transcript
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "I think I know what your problem is . . ." Dogbert continues, "Take all the parts and arrange them in neat piles. Now stand on your chair so you can see above your cubicle wall." A man stands on his chair holding the phone and looking over the cubicle walls. On the other end of the phone Dogbert continues, "Now shout 'Does anybody know how to read a manual?'"
Tuesday January 31,
1995
Tags ignorance, no limits, idiotic, opinions, personal hygiene, cyberspace, flame boy, step inside
Transcript
Dilbert types, "Your ignorance seems to have no limit. Your opinions are idiotic." Dilbert continues typing, "Your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired. Your family is ugly." He enters, "Send e-mail." Peering over the cubicle wall, Wally says to Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace, Flame-boy." Dilbert replies, "Step inside."
Wednesday August 16,
1995
Tags invisible to coworkers, compensate, symbiotic realtionship, visible creature, ratbert, visual, auditory link, columbian coffee
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You're invisible to your co-workers. But you can compensate by forming a symbiotic relationship with a visible creature." Ratbert joins Dilbert and Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Ratbert will cling to your back. He'll be your visual and auditory link with your co-workers." Ratbert is suspended in midair between Wally and Alice. Ratbert says to Wally, "So . . . working hard? Or hardly working?" Wally looks into his coffee mug and responds, "I KNEW this Colombian coffee was trouble."
Friday March 15,
1996
Tags business plan, start up, provide venture capital, lost of media, afraid of dogs, media hype, greeting investors, prospectus
Transcript
Dogbert, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The business plan for your start-up is idiotic but I'm going to provide the venture capital funding anyway." Dogbert continues, "We'll generate lots of media hype, go public and make millions by shafting greedy and ignorant investors." Dogbert continues, "The Latin word for 'close your eyes and open your mouth' is 'prospectus.'" Wally says, "This is exactly why I'm afraid of dogs."
Saturday March 30,
1996
Tags boring, idiotic coworkers, main accomplishment, newsletter, no raise, performance review, two percent raise, uninteresting, value of team work
Transcript
The caption says, "Performance Review." Tina the Tech Writer sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your main accomplishment was the department newsletter which was both uninteresting and unimportant. You get no raise." Tina looks shocked and says, "The newsletter was YOUR idea, and it's boring because most of the articles are contributed by my idiotic co-workers." The Boss says, "You don't seem to understand the value of teamwork." Tina replies, "I understand its value; it just cost me a two-percent raise."
Saturday May 11,
1996
Tags blood suckers, coworkers, famous novelist, lowly tech writer, scathing email messages, write a book, write witty, dogcart career counselor
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"
Tuesday June 25,
1996
Tags sit do mothing, implement, bold quality initiative, talented, energetic coworkers
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "I could sit here doing nothing." Dilbert clenches his fists, looks determined and thinks, "Or I could implement a bold quality initiative with the help of my talented and energetic co-workers." Dilbert thinks, "I crack me up."