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Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Oh no . . . If this guy turns left when I go right, we'll end up walking down the hall right next to each other." The man turns and walks next to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . A huge, empty hallway and here we are synchronized like two of the Rockettes." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So that's when I knocked on the ladies' room door, yelled 'janitor' and ducked inside." Dogbert says, "At least you maintained your dignity."
Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."
Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table listening to a tape player. Dilbert says, "I do NOT snore, and I do NOT believe you made this recording of me last night." Animal-like sounds come from the tape player. Dilbert looks at a cassette box and says, "In fact, this tape box says 'National Geographic's Songs of the Whale.'" Dogbert says, "So, you admit that even National Geographic can't tell the difference between your snoring and a twenty-ton kelp-scarfing mammal."
Dilbert opens a jewelry box and asks Dogbert, "Do you like these earrings I bought for Mom's birthday?" Dogbert asks, "What kind of stones are they?" Dilbert answers, "Amethyst." Dogbert says, "Didn't they have any that believe in God?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Dogbert walks away saying, "Puns! Never apologize, never explain."
Dilbert: Yikes! What are you?! Ego: Do not panic. I am your ego. My ego??...shouldn't you be inside me someplace? Ego: Well, yes, normally we egos feed within the body. Dilbert: So what the heck are you doing out here? Ego: You're starving me, man. I'm going to try out for a play or something.
Dilbert: Well, if you're my ego, I order you to get back inside me. Ego: You don't seem to understand who's in charge here. Without me, you're nothing! Dilbert: I do feel a bit insecure. Ego: Now dance for me, ha ha ha, dance!
Dilbert stands in the kitchen and Dogbert stands in the doorway holding a slingshot. Dilbert reaches for a box of donuts and thinks, "Maybe just one donut before bed." Dogbert thinks, "He takes the bait." Dilbert looks surprised as the donut is shot out of his hand. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Didn't I ask you to stop playing 'Wild Kingdom' in the house?" Dogbert thinks, "Now angered, the engineer turns to charge."
Dilbert stands in a supermarket aisle looking at a box of tissue. Dilbert thinks, "Every single tissue box has a feminine design." Dilbert thinks, "Men have noses too. This is sexist. I can't support this practice." Back at home, Dilbert puts the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. Dogbert asks, "Sandpaper?" Dilbert replies, "I had to make a statement."
Michael: Let me show you a round the inside of your computer. Dilbert: Neat! Michael: Here's where we generate the hypnotic signals for your display screen. Dilbert: Why? Michael: To make you think you need more computers. Dilbert: Good lord, you've learned to reproduce!