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Dilbert and Dogbert stand on either side of a device. Dogbert says, "I think you should see a lawyer before unleashing this new invention on mankind." Later, Dilbert sits in an attorney's office. Dilbert says, ". . . I'm afraid my new invention will expose me to lots of lawsuits." Dilbert asks, "Will you advise me?" The lawyer replies, "No. Sounds like I can make more money by suing you."
Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."
Dilbert and Dogbert hold tennis rackets. Dogbert says, "Experts say that when you have mastered the mental game, the ball will appear to grow larger." Dilbert holds a tiny ball in his hand. Dilbert replies, "Okay, but I still think these balls are not regulation size." Dogbert says, "Probably just a reflection of your lack of confidence." Dogbert walks away and says, "Three moth balls and a good story are more effective than years of lessons."
Dilbert enters Video Date, Inc. Dilbert sits across from a desk. A man smoking a cigar explains, ". . . Then we film our clients so prospective dates can screen each other for compatibility." The man continues, "For an extra fee we supply special effects to make you appear more manly. Our most popluar theme is where we dress you in a loin cloth and you rip the arms off an Arnold Schwarzenegger dummy while bombs explode nearby!" Dilbert asks, "Gosh, don't you have something that will make me look sensitive and caring?" The man thinks. The man says, "Okay . . . We dress you up as Mary Tyler Moore and have you bottle feeding this plastic dying dolphin." Dilbert replies, "No, too sensitive. Suppose we say the dolphin just has a bad cold . . ."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert says, "There . . . My program proves that pretty women have extremely bad personalities." Dilbert continues, "This is based on the input that pretty women are never nice to me." Dogbert asks, "Why does the screen say 'or you are a geek?'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! I thought I fixed that bug."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert watches him. Dilbert says, "My computer simulation will determine, once and for all, the real reason dinosaurs became extinct." Dilbert continues, "Wait . . . According to this, it would be almost impossible for ALL dinosaurs to be extinct." Dogbert says, "Then they must just be . . ." Dogbert and Dilbert look at each other and say simultaneously, ". . . Hiding." A voice behind them says, "Yeah? Just try to find us." Another voice says, "Shhhh!"
Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur and Dawn the Dinosaur, ". . . So Dawn here is a Nobodysaurus, and Bob, you say you're a Thesaurus?" Bob replies, "Ha ha! No, the 'Thesaurus' line is just an old dinosaur joke." Dawn covers her eyes and giggles. Dilbert says, "I'll bet you were a riot in the Mesozoic era." Dawn says, "Eat him, Bob."
Dilbert and Dogbert stand on a tennis court holding rackets. Dilbert asks, "Did you bring a can of balls as I asked you to?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . . Did you say CAN OF BALLS? I'll be right back." Dogbert says to a cannibal in a grass skirt, "Sorry, turns out we don't need you after all." The cannibal asks, "How about if I just eat the loser?"
Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk holding a gadget. The man asks, "So, Dilbert, this is the prototype you've been working on for the last six months?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, sir. I'm proud to say that this baby can transform worthless pocket lint into a valuable parsley substitute!" The man says, "Well, this looks absolutely brilliant and completely unmarketable." Dilbert says, "Thanks, I'm technology driven."