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Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."
Dilbert jogs through the park wearing a sweat suit and sneakers. Dogbert sits in the chair. He asks, "How was your run?" Dilbert replies, "Great . . . I feel awful." Dogbert says, "Pardon a simple dog for asking, but why do you run if it feels awful?" Dilbert answers, "Well, if I do it every day, I'll live a longer life." Dogbert says, "So, life will feel awful, but at least it will last a long time." Dilbert says, "Unless I get hit by a truck . . ."
Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."
Dogbert stands outside the post office truck yard holding the Sonic Obliterator. Dogbert says, "On one hand, I know it's wrong to use Dilbert's invention to blow up these empty mail trucks." Dogbert says, "On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on strangers." Dogbert continues, "It's a moral dilemma . . . But I like to think that difficult choices like this build character." Dogbert presses the trigger.
Dogbert says, "Please, Mister Garbage Man, help us fix Dilbert's cloning device and bring him back to life!!" The garbage man looks at the device and says, "This shouldn't be too hard . . . Standard anti-light resonance filters . . . Yeah, I think I have parts in the truck." Dogbert asks, "You're going to clone him from his own garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Don't tell anybody - there might be a stigma."
Dilbert asks the cleaning man, "And your name is . . . ?" The man replies, "Call me Mr. Tidy." Dilbert says, "The agency says you're experienced." The man replies, "Yeah, I've cleaned out some of the nicer homes in this area." The man continues, "The best thing here is to load your possessions into my van and I'll clean 'em at my place." Dilbert asks, "Will that cost me extra?"
Dilbert sits at a table with a bearded man. The man says, "Let me show you where the information is in your binder." The man licks his fingers and says, "First, I'll need a good load of saliva on my page-turning hand." Dilbert says, "Maybe you can show me in YOUR binder." The man replies, "Can't . . . Somehow my pages got all stuck together."
Dilbert carries a load of dirty clothes to the washing machine. Dilbert looks at the label on a shirt collar. He reads, "Special washing instructions." Dilbert reads, "Fold the garment in a five-point star and wrap in cotton swathes . . ." Dilbert reads, "Launder only in pure glacier water heated to 98 degrees . . ." Dilbert reads, "For detergent, use only the glandular secretion of the Australian nik-nik bug . . ." Dilbert reads, "In fact, I'm so delicate that you're hurting me right now. Ouch! Ouch! Let me go! Help!" Dilbert stuffs the shirt into the machine." Dilbert says, "The best I can do is to make it quick." A scream comes from the machine.
Dilbert says to Wally, who has his arm around a woman, "Gee, Wally, you sure have been popular with women since the testosterone started spewing from your head." Drops of liquid come from Wally's head. Wally replies, "It's amazing . . . I even bought a pickup truck and a rifle so I can hunt after work." Dilbert asks, "What do you hunt around here?" Wally replies, "Pigeons are the most convenient . . . Don't even have to get out of the truck."
Wally shows Dilbert a pickup truck and says, "Maybe it's because of my high testosterone levels, but I couldn't resist getting my pickup jacked up." Wally says, "I thought it would be more frightening to the people I tailgate." As he jumps into the truck and wiggles his legs, Wally says, "The only problem is that you can't let people see you trying to get in it."