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Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. As the therapist takes notes, Dilbert says, ". . . And it seems like I've always been afraid of moths . . ." The psychologist asks, "Could this fear be related to your insecurity about your looks?" Dilbert replies, "I've never been insecure about my looks . . ." Dilbert continues, "Until this moment . . ." The doctor says, "Now we're getting someplace."
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"
Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.
Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."
Dilbert lies on a couch and a psychologist sits next to him taking notes on a pad of paper. Dilbert says, "I can't stop putting writing tools in my shirt pocket . . ." Dilbert continues, "It started harmlessly . . . First a pen, then two. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere without a pen and pencil of every color." The psychiatrist asks, "Do you have the secondary colors?" Dilbert replies, "There are SECONDARY colors?!"
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."
Dilbert lies on a couch and his psychologist sits next to the couch taking notes. The therapist says, "Your problem is my mother." Dilbert asks, "YOUR mother? I don't even know your mother. How could she be my problem?" The psychiatrist says, "She's an evil woman and she lives under the couch." An old woman says, "What you need is a good swat!"
Dilbert asks Wally, "Have you made any decisions since the Boss made us all 'empowered?'" Wally replies, "Just one." Wally says, "I turned my cubicle into a revenue generating tourist attraction." Wally continues, "So far, business has been slow at 'Sticky-Note City.'" A building made of Post-it Notes stands next to Wally's cubicle.
Dilbert lies on a couch in a therapist's office. Dilbert says as the psychiatrist listens and takes notes, "Things have been strange since the mishap with my hair growth formula." Dilbert continues, "I have a strong urge to buy sunglasses and drive a Porsche . . ." Dilbert continues, "And I worry that people won't take me seriously." The psychologist has drawn a picture of Dilbert on her notepad.
Dilbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert walks in and says, "I'm having a crisis of self image." Ratbert asks, "Do I, as a rat, add any value to the world? Or do I simply deplete its resources, then die?" The musical notes coming from the radio stick to Ratbert's body. He says, "Oh . . . Sorry . . . I sucked all the music out of the room."