Panic Comic Strips - Page 1
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
36 Results for Panic
View 1 - 10 results for panic comic strips. Discover the best "Panic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 28,
1989
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert stand at a store counter. The clerk asks Dogbert, "And what can I get for you little fellow?" Dogbert looks up at the salesclerk and yells, "I want it all!! Ha ha! Give me mouthwash, gum, deodorant, lipstick, Krazy glue, Rolaids and . . . And . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert walk out carrying full bags. Dogbert says, "I panicked."
Wednesday October 18,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, writing, policeman, legal, size, paper, bribe
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a desk writing a letter. Dogbert asks, "Who are you writing to?" Dilbert replies, "My uncle Max, the policeman." Dogbert says, "You can't write to a cop on regular size paper! You have to use legal size paper!" Dilbert says, "Don't panic." Dogbert says, "I get it -- he looks the other way for family members." Dilbert says as he puts money in the envelope, "I send a bribe."
Wednesday November 22,
1989
Tags absent mindedness, Dilbert, ego, starving, feed
Transcript
Dilbert: Yikes! What are you?! Ego: Do not panic. I am your ego. My ego??...shouldn't you be inside me someplace? Ego: Well, yes, normally we egos feed within the body. Dilbert: So what the heck are you doing out here? Ego: You're starving me, man. I'm going to try out for a play or something.
Saturday March 09,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, school, self-service, gas, station, attendants, teaching, section, refolding, maps, frustrating, paper cuts, minor, panic, sweat the room
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and says to Dogbert, "I heard you closed your school for self-service gas station attendants." Dogbert says, "It didn't work out." Dogbert continues, "I was teaching the section on refolding maps . . . Frustrations were high . . . At first, the paper cuts were minor, but panic swept the room." Dilbert asks, "Well, how bad could . . ." Dogbert says, "They're all dead . . ."
Sunday February 14,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, interview, applicant, engineer, standard, pens, pencil, perform, natural, fabrics, carry, wearing
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.
Sunday September 12,
1993
Tags the boss, Wally, Dilbert, ed, business meeting, business project
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally watch the Boss tell Ed, "Nervous Ed, I'm assigning you to a special project." Nervous Ed pulls his tie and replies, "Special assignment? That means you don't have any real work for me." Nervous Ed continues, "Everybody knows that a special assignment is a kiss of death." The Boss continues, "You'll be sharing a cubicle with six other employees who are also on special assignment." Nervous Ed looks scared and thinks, "Don't panic yet . . . Maybe it's something important . . . Maybe it's something that could make an impact." The Boss says, "Your assignment is to improve employee empowerment." Nervous Ed looks shocked. Nervous Ed convulses and faints. Wally tells the Boss, "Thanks for letting us watch." The Boss asks, "Did you like the part about six in the cubicle?"
Monday July 25,
1994
Tags unnatural, have girlfirend, star trek comaprison, falls in love, girl dies, shooting star, panic, weird, overthinking
Transcript
Dilbert: "It seems almost unnatural for me to have an actual girlfriend." LIZ: "Why?" Dilbert: "It's like when the captain on 'Star Trek' falls in love, and you know the woman will die in an unlikely accident." "Hey! We just saw our first shooting star!"
Friday January 27,
1995
Tags reduce budget
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've been asked to reduce our budget. I'm going to offer to cut your project because it's the most critical." The Boss continues, "The finance guys won't dare cut that project. My ploy will spare us from any cuts at all." Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I panic." The Boss says, "Tell me again what your project is about. They might ask."
Sunday August 10,
1997
Tags project sparkle, desk policy, company wide effoert, tiny question, curious, top executives, competitive threat, panic, lone voice of reason, paper towles, laminated card, mission statement
Transcript
At a meeting, The Boss says, "Announcing Project 'Sparkle', the clean desk policy." The Boss says, "This is a company wide effort to keep our work spaces clean." Alice says, "Tiny question. I'm curious about one thing." Alice says, "I'm picturing our top executives in the 'War Room.'" Alice waves her arms wildly and says, "They talk about the competitive threat and our lack of resources. Suddenly, panic sets in!!" Alice is wide eyed and finishes, "A lone voice of reason penetrates the confusion. Two words: Paper towels." Alice asks, "Is that pretty much how it went?" The Boss says, "Moving along. Each of you get a laminated card with our mission statement." Wally puts his arm out to restrain Alice and says, "Let me do this one." Dilbert just watches it go by. The only reason he's here is because his name is on the strip.
Sunday November 07,
1999
Tags newly designated, fire warden, bitter, assignment, regular job, last one out, safety, fire, panic, flushing self, exit door
Transcript
Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."


