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Dilbert sits at his desk with paper and a calculator. Dilbert says, "Ah hah! Just as I suspected." Dilbert shows Dogbert a piece of paper and says, "Here it is: mathematical proof that attractive single women exist only in white Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes." Dogbert asks, "How do you explain Vanna White?" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I wonder if Isaac Newton had a dog." Dogbert adds, "Or a girlfriend."
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "It's so awkward to walk past strangers in hallways; you always gotta avoid eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "I know - I'll wait until we're near and then pick up that little piece of fuzz on the carpet there." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then we both went for the carpet fuzz." Dogbert replies, "Smooth."
Dilbert sits at his desk with drafting tools in front of him. Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This design could change the way the world barbecues. No more struggling with charcoal." Dilbert shows the paper to Dogbert and says, "This schematic shows how an electrically induced coil-like medium can heat food without charcoal or lighter fluid!" Dilbert continues, "I call it the Max-10 Energy Transfer Model." Dogbert asks, "Did the name 'Electric Stove' occur to you at any time?"
Dilbert approaches the mailbox saying, "Oh, please, please, please . . ." Dilbert opens the mailbox and says, "Yay! It's here!" Dilbert walks away carrying a piece of bread. Dilbert says, "Nothing quite matches the thrill of the 'Toast of the Month Club!'"
Dilbert reads a piece of mail and says, "Wow! And I thought this was just more junk mail!" Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "All I have to do is drive two hours and listen to their condo sales pitch. I'm GUARANTEED to win a Jeep Cherokee or a valuable mock emerald." Dogbert responds, "That emerald will go pretty well with your mock brain."
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Care to join me for a walk?" Dogbert answers, "Sure." Dogbert says, "I hope you aren't planning to chew that gum at the same time." Dilbert says as he puts a piece of gum in his mouth, "Very funny." Dilbert lies on the ground with gum sticking to his feet, his arms and Dogbert. Dilbert says, "Boy! This is a lot harder than you would think." Dogbert growls.
Dilbert kneels on the floor looking at a plant in a broken pot. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's weird . . . I was just talking to it like I ususally do and it fell off the desk . . ." Dogbert asks, "What's this little piece of paper?" Dogbert reads, "I couldn't take it anymore . . ."
Dogbert stands at a desk writing on a piece of paper. Dilbert asks, "What's all the writing for?" Dogbert replies, "It's called 'affirmations.'" Dogbert explains, "The theory is that if you write down your objective fifteen times a day, the objective will be achieved, no matter how unlikely." Dilbert reads the affirmation and says, "But you've written 'Dilbert will be eaten by a garden slug.'" Dogbert replies, "It's all I could think of."
The caption says, "Dogbert continues his reckless experiment with the powerful force of 'affirmations.'" Dilbert watches Dogbert write on a piece of paper and asks, ". . . What if this actually works?" Dilbert asks, "Can you really cause me to be eaten by a garden slug just by writing it down over and over?" Dilbert continues, "What am I saying? Logically, there's no way this could work." Dogbert says, "Don't get too far from salt."