Rebel Negotiation Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

33 Results for Rebel Negotiation

View 1 - 10 results for rebel negotiation comic strips. Discover the best "Rebel Negotiation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #engineer, #conservative, #rebel, #potato salad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . But I wasn't always a conservative engineer-type." Dilbert continues, "I was quite the little rebel when I was a kid." The caption says, "Flashback." A young Dilbert sits at the table thinking, "Potato salad again? I've GOT to speak out on this issue."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #man, #used car, #salesman, #car, #came, #negotiation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a customer, "I can let you have this one for five thousand." The man says, "Three thousand." Dogbert replies, "No, but I could sell THAT car for four thousand." The man says, "Thirty-five hundred." Dogbert replies, "Sold." The man says as he drives away in the car, "I guess you don't get a lot of negotiators like me." Dogbert says, "It's the first time anybody bought the car they came here in."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #tuition, #leverage, #paid, #alice, #tipping

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonia, #impressed, #diplomacy, #economic, #advisor, #airlines, #weight, #calculate, #rebel, #leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is carrying a suitcase, says to Dogbert, "The President of Elbonia asked me to negotiate an end to their civil war." Dogbert asks, "Why you?" Dilbert replies, "No doubt he was impressed by my diplomacy when I was an economic advisor . . . I just wish I didn't have to fly on Elbonia Airlines." In Elbonia, two Elbonians looks at a diagram of a cannon firing at a target. One man says, ". . . At his weight, we calculate that Elbonia Airlines will fling him right on the rebel leader."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #airlines, #negotiate, #end, #civil, #war, #impress, #rebel, #call, #fox, #dead

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert takes Elbonia Airlines. He's been asked to negotiate an end to the Elbonian civil war." An Elbonian man places Dilbert and his suitcase in a giant slingshot. Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I can succeed if I find some way to impress the rebel leader they call 'The Fox.'" Dilbert lands on an Elbonian man. Another Elbonian yells, "The Fox is dead!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #leader, #rebel, #diplomat, #peace, #mission, #rock, #pig, #varnish, #clams, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #elbonia, #fox, #killed, #rebel, #leader, #code, #name, #piglet, #hamster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. A newscaster says, "In Elbonia, the rebel leader known as 'The Fox' was killed." The newscaster continues, "By Elbonian law, his killer becomes the new rebel leader. We do not know his code name yet." In Elbonia, three Elbonians confront Dilbert. One of them says, "We've narrowed it down to either 'The Piglet' or 'The Hamster.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle gestapo, #plastic plant, #rebel, #evil, #anti perspirant, #breaking down, #take a stand

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: I'm going to defy the cubicle gestapo and keep this plastic plant on my desk. Im a rebel...Im evil. My anti perspirant is breaking down! Dilbert: Sometimes a man has to take a stand. Dogbert: could he stand someplace else?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flight to ny, #many stopovers, #third world countries, #rebel insurrections, #wear red cross symbol, #on back, #bullseye, #wants boss killed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol's desk and says, "Carol, about this flight to New York that you booked for me . . ." The Boss continues, "Is it really necessary to make all these stopovers in Third-World countries that are experiencing rebel insurrections?" Carol holds up a bullseye and says, "You'd better wear the international symbol of the 'Red Cross' on your back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new manager, #keith, #masters in business, #motivating employees, #hire good people, #optional reading, #finance and economics, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to meet the newest member of my management team." The Boss continues, "Keith is highly qualified, he has a masters in business administration." Alice and Keith shake hands. Alice says, "Very impressive. They must have taught you a lot about motivating employees." Keith replies, "No, not really." Alice says, "Well . . . You probably learned how to identify and hire good people, right?" Keith replies, "That might have been optional reading." Alice asks, "Did you learn negotiation skills? Strategic thinking? Business writing?" Keith answers "No" to all three questions. Keith explains, "It was mostly finance and accounting. And economics." Alice says, "So, you're a highly qualified leader because . . . You're good at math?" Keith whispers to the Boss, "What should I do here?" The Boss replies, "In these situations I like to use swearing."