Shift Happens Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

85 Results for Shift Happens

View 1 - 10 results for shift happens comic strips. Discover the best "Shift Happens" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baked products, #eat, #cupcake

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dilbert says, ". . . So, the cupcakes you baked mutated into a hideous monster and ate the neighbor's Chevy . . . Great." Dogbert says, "Oh, like YOU'VE never had problems with a recipe." Dilbert says, "What happens if my neighbor sues?!" Dogbert asks, "Did I mention that he was in the Chevy?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #renew, #dog, #license, #written, #test

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Let's go . . . It's time to renew your dog license." Dilbert and Dogbert enter the Department of Dogs. Dogbert looks at an exam and thinks, "I wonder what happens if I fail the written test?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #cool, #guys, #Women, #miss, #killing, #me, #trash, #dating, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I've noticed that all the cool guys use gentle kidding with women. Women must like it." Dilbert walks up behind a woman and says, "Excuse me, miss, does your face hurt? It's killing me!" Dilbert giggles and snorts. Dilbert is stuffed upside down in a garbage can. Dilbert thinks, "The cool guys must hate it when this happens to them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hero, #suit, #identity, #secret, #super, #powers, #acquire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I made a super hero suit for myself." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert puts the suit on as he says, "You never know when you might accidentally acquire super powers. It happens all the time." Dilbert, who is now wearing a suit with a cape and a letter "D" on the front, continues, "This way, my identity can remain a secret." Dogbert says, "I suddenly see why that's so important."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #introduce, #new employee, #odyssey, #bud, #vice-versa, #week

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to introduce the new guy to everybody." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." The Boss walks away thinking, "This way I never have to learn their names." Dilbert tells the new guy, "The first stop on our odyssey is Bud." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Bud, this is the new guy, and vice versa." The new guy smiles. Bud looks up from the newspaper and says, "What's this?! Another pink-bottomed, Ivy League, management 'trainee'?!" Bud shouts, "In MY day, you had to start at the bottom . . . And by golly, you STAYED there!!" The new guy asks, "How long have you worked here?" Bud replies, "A week . . . This happens pretty quickly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #worried, #teenager, #trees, #declare, #war, #norway, #pimple, #attack, #drafted

View Transcript

Transcript

A caption identifies a young man as a "worried teenager." Dogbert approaches the teenager on the sidewalk and asks, "What's wrong with you?" The boy replies, "WOOD . . . What happens if we cut down all the trees?? We'll have to declare war on Norway and take their wood! I'll be drafted! I hate fiords." Dogbert yells, "Pimple attack!" A huge pimple sprouts on the boy's face.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ceo, #superficial, #statements, #company, #lucky, #profits, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a big desk and asks an employee, "Now that I'm CEO, what am I supposed to actually do?" The man replies, "You're supposed to make superficial statements about how good the company is, then hope something lucky happens and profits go up." The man continues, "It's called leadership, sir." Dilbert waves the man away and says, "Make it so."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #carbon, #molecules, #shaped, #geodesic, #balls, #flash, #insight, #wrong, #place

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow. Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I just realized that some carbon molecules must be shaped like hollow geodesic balls!!" Ratbert loses his balance and falls back saying, "Erk!!!" Ratbert lies on the floor. Dogbert thinks, "That's what happens when a flash of insight hits the wrong place."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lesson, #presentation, #males, #Women, #act, #phony, #woman, #subjected, #empathy, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at the front of the room and says, "Today's lesson is just for men . . . Lights please." Dogbert shows a slide that says, "Acting sensitive even when you're not." Dogbert says, "As males, we know that women can only tolerate us when we act phony." Dogbert continues, "This is what happens when a woman is subjected to honest male opinions." The slide shows a woman screaming. Dogbert continues, "Fortunately, even the most ridiculous lies can sound sensitive." The slide shows a man saying, "Nice hairdo." Dogbert continues, "And new research shows that women want EMPATHY in conversation, not male suggestions." Dogbert continues, "This discovery frees you to think about other things while they talk." Dogbert advances the slide projector. The slide shows a man saying to a woman, "Ooh . . . How sad," while he thinks, "Sports." Dogbert asks, "Questions?"