Talk Cobol Baby Comic Strips - Page 1

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433 Results for Talk Cobol Baby

View 1 - 10 results for talk cobol baby comic strips. Discover the best "Talk Cobol Baby" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #hair, #medicine, #pharmacy, #perscription, #side effect, #animals

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Dogbert stands at the counter in a drug store. He says to the clerk, "Hello. Do you remember selling some hair growth formula to a big guy named Dilbert?" The man replies, "Um . . ." Dogbert continues, "Well, I'M Dilbert, and apparently there are some unusual side effects!" The clerk looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "I took time out from my thriving law practice to come talk to you about it." Dogbert walks home humming. Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Thanks, Dogbert, but I only asked you to get my prescription refill . . . Not the deed to the pharmacy." Dogbert replies, "In the long run this is more cost-effective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #compliment, #office workers, #reaction

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #garbage, #construction, #trash compactor, #brick, #sylvester stallone, #socks

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Dilbert stands outside his lab. He tells Dogbert, "Well, Dogbert, I believe I have solved the world's garbage problem." Dogbert says, "I didn't know garbage had any problems." Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the stairs to the lab. Dilbert says, "I've invented the most efficient trash compactor ever." Dilbert kneels in front of a device and says, "This baby can squash two tons of garbage into a little brick!" Dogbert says, "No doubt you've considered the valuable uses for the brick itself." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Right . . . For home construction?" Dogbert says, "Or just as an immovable object that smells like Sylvester Stallone's socks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #book, #walking, #dog, #picking up, #Women, #baby, #single male, #overrated

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Dilbert looks in a book and says to Dogbert, "This book says the best time to pick up women is while walking a dog." Dogbert says, "Let's try it." Dilbert holds a leash that is wrapped around Dogbert's stomach. Dogbert walks in front of Dilbert yelling, "Yo! Baby! Whoa whoa! Shake it, don't break it! Come and get your single male!!" Dilbert says, "I think this method is overrated." Dogbert yells, "Form one line! No pushing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #prototype, #six months, #transform, #pocket, #lint, #parsley substitute, #technology driven

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Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk holding a gadget. The man asks, "So, Dilbert, this is the prototype you've been working on for the last six months?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, sir. I'm proud to say that this baby can transform worthless pocket lint into a valuable parsley substitute!" The man says, "Well, this looks absolutely brilliant and completely unmarketable." Dilbert says, "Thanks, I'm technology driven."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #talk, #vacation, #leadership, #sock monkey

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A man stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Dilbert, the Boss would like to talk to you." Dilbert enters the Boss's office and asks, "You wanted me?" The Boss says, "Ah, Dilbert, come in." The Boss says, "I'm taking two weeks of vacation and I need competent leadership while I'm gone." Dilbert thinks, "At last he's giving me an assignment with responsibility." The Boss says, "That's why I got this talking sock monkey. Pull the string twice a day and do what he says."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #grumpy dog, #no flattery, #chocolate cake, #feel better, #scratch behind ears, #leg spasms

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm grumpy today, so don't even try to talk to me." Dogbert continues, "And don't try to flatter me or give me chocolate cake to make me feel better." Dilbert says, "And I guess I shouldn't scratch you behind the ears until you have little leg spasms." Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs and says, "Right. None of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #unauthorized, #biography, #liz taylor, #steve garvey's, #tragically, #baby

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair typing. Dilbert asks, "Are you really going through with the unauthorized biography of me?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dogbert says, "I'm up to the part where Jackie 'O' and Liz Taylor fight a duel for your love." Dogbert continues, "Tragically, neither are aware that you're carrying Steve Garvey's baby!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #substitute teacher, #tykes, #children, #flammable

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Dogbert sits in the chair and Dilbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert asks, "Can't I talk you out of becoming a substitute teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I won't damage the little tykes." The caption says, "Day one." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard and says, "Good morning, children. I'm Mr. Dogbert." A student asks, "Are you flammable?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #reference, #smart, #attracted, #intelligent, #thoughts, #woman, #date

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"