Catbert Comic Strips - Page 1
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655 Results for Catbert
View 1 - 10 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 15,
2022
Catbert Doesn't Make The Rules
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 28,
2021
Firing By Text
Tags business, employment, text, smartphone, fire, remote, workforce, thumbs-up, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: the best part of having a remote workforce is firing them by text. boss typing on smartphone. Boss: ted, you're fired. tap tap tap. catbert: it's done? boss: no, i also need to give a thumbs-up to his crying face emoji.
Friday June 04,
2021
Leadership Quality
Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference
Transcript
boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.
Wednesday June 02,
2021
Political Talk
Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed
Transcript
catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.
Monday May 31,
2021
Management Potential
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, stealing, credit, potential, chart
Transcript
boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.
Friday May 28,
2021
Men Are Stupid Pigs
Tags business, office workers, complaint, office, stupid, pigs, Men, specific, i.q., visayan warty
Transcript
tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.
Friday May 21,
2021
C Level Sacrifice
Tags business, political issues, stock market, technology, brand, board, fire, Politics, ruin, human, sacrifice, chief technology officer, performance, employment
Transcript
catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.
Thursday May 20,
2021
Ceo Speaks Out
Tags business, business ethics, political issues, stock, stock market, plunged, voice, injustice, bonus, million, dollars, Advice
Transcript
catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?
Sunday May 16,
2021
Wally Works At Home Unsafely
Tags business, technology, warning, unsafe, workplace, work at home, remote, live, judging, personality, toxic, dump, lazy, clean, lucky, guess, neighbors, curtains, laptop
Transcript
wally on video call with catbert: catbert: i'm issuing you a warning for your unsafe workplace. wally: i work from home. you've never seen where i live. catbert: i'm judging by your personality. you're too lazy to clean anything up, so by now it's a toxic dump. wally: that's a lucky guess. catbert: and you're too lazy to close your curtains, so by now your neighbors want to murder you. wally: that's two lucky guesses.
Tuesday May 11,
2021
Bigoted Against Elbonian Men
Tags business, marriage, office workers, elbonia, report, bigot, irrelevant, innocence, prove, sale, flower
Transcript
catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.


