A Stupid Acting Person Comic Strips - Page 1

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519 Results for A Stupid Acting Person

View 1 - 10 results for a stupid acting person comic strips. Discover the best "A Stupid Acting Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meeting In Person

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Too Busy To Train

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Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, jobs, managers & supervisors, two, replacement, quit, death, stare, new, person, sarcasm

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dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

Insults By Email

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Insults By Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, office workers, insult, email, comfortable, belittle, Opinion, move away, sarcasm

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dilbert: i feel a deep need to belittle your opinion, but it would be awkward doing it in person. would you mind moving away from me so i can email you my insult? dilbert in hall by himself. dilbert: a little more....

Men Are Stupid Pigs

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Men Are Stupid Pigs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, complaint, office, stupid, pigs, Men, specific, i.q., visayan warty

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tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.

Title Promotion

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Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, recognition, outstanding, work, pandemic, title, Promotion, stupid, raise, ungrateful, engineer

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boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Gaming The System

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Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project

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boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

The Boss Has An Idea

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The Boss Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, managment, worldwide, obvious, implement, smart, people, remote, work, idea

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boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.

Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person

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Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, business, disabled, token, gay, homosexual, celebrate, employment

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boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.

Recurring Charges

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Recurring Charges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, cancel, online, charges, information, automated phone system, contact, website, microphone

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dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.

Bribe One Judge

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Bribe One Judge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, consumer, lawsuit, assignment, judge, bribe, lawyer, insult

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dogbert to boss: you have over seven hundred consumer lawsuits filed against you. if i can get them all assigned to the same judge, you only have to bribe one person. boss: are you even a lawyer? dogbert: heavens, no, and i didn't come here to be insulted.