All Cheese Diet Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

47 Results for All Cheese Diet

View 1 - 10 results for all cheese diet comic strips. Discover the best "All Cheese Diet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Using Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Diet Preferences

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Diet Preferences - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #conference room, #office workers, #chitchat, #bore, #diet, #preferences

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.

Others Have Failed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Others Have Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #idea, #technology, #rodent, #insult, #cheese, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese

Cake Is Healthy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cake Is Healthy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cake, #diet, #employees, #employment, #health, #health food, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #diet, #dating, #restaurant, #relationships, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

Tell Me About Being A Foodie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tell Me About Being A Foodie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #boring, #boredom, #bored, #invention, #conversation, #stimulation, #stimulating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a brain stimulator to keep my brain from atrophying during boring conversations. Tell me something about your hobbies so I can test it. Tina: Well, I'm a foodie. Dilbert: Do you like cheese? It's working!

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #avarice, #compensation, #executives, #golden parachute, #greed, #money, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #jeff bezos rule, #rule of meetings, #two pizzas, #feed a meeting, #eat two pizzas, #zeros paradox, #feed everyone, #cheese bread, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going to use the Jeff Bezos rule of meetings. Bezos says you should never have a meeting that is so big you can't feed everyone with two pizzas. Wally: I can eat two pizzas by myself. Alice: How do you count the people who have gluten sensitivity and don't eat pizza? Dilbert: If I apply Zeno's Paradox to the slice size, can I have infinite attendees? Wally: And what does it mean to "feed" everyone? Do they need to be totally full? Boss: Stop being engineers! Wally: How does cheese bread fit into this?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dairy products, #inventions, #mad scientists, #gay anarchist, #loves football, #string cheese

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard that marketing's optogenic device tweaked some of your preferences. Asok: Yup. Now I'm a gay anarchist who loves football and string cheese. Dilbert: Sounds like a big adjustment. Asok: Well, the cheese part came easily.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #questioning, #bought start up, #million dollars, #diet coke, #wine

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: We bought a start-up just so we could get the engineers, including you. Do something that's worth a million dollars. I want to see what that looks like. Coworker: You don't sound entirely sincere. Alice: Can you turn my Diet Coke into wine?