Another Vendor Comic Strips - Page 1
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salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.
wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.
dilbert on video call. dilbert: has anyone herd from our ceo since the pandemic started? voices from the laptop: maybe the virus got him. no. not me. next frame has ceo thinking in another location: well, it looks like another lonely day of looking for the zoom button.
Dilbert yelling: dogbert! can you keep down the noise while i'm on zoom! dogbert standing on chair: i'm on a zoom call too. your call isn't more important than mine! dilbert speaking to his laptop: sorry, i can't stop the background noise. dogbert yelling from another room: can you keep it down in there? i'm on a zoom call.
boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.
dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.
boss with laptop on video conference. boss: um, wally. do you know your camera is on? boss is shaken and yelling: wally!!! no!!! gaaa!!! i can't unsee it! dilbert and wally in another room. dilbert: how was your zoom call? wally: i found a way to shorten it by an hour.
dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.