Apathy Comic Strips - Page 1

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39 Results for Apathy

View 1 - 10 results for apathy comic strips. Discover the best "Apathy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Inspirational Poster

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Inspirational Poster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, new, inspirational, poster, apathy, die, criticize, draft, not good

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dogbert: i'm going into the inspirational poster business. so far, all i have is "nothing matters because you're going to die anyway." dilbert: that's not good. dogbert: it's easy to criticize a first draft.

Astrology Filter

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Astrology Filter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, Astrology, business, incoherent, sense, strategic, technology

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dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.

No Update Needed

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No Update Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, assignment, face mask, managers & supervisors, project, robot, sarcasm, technology, update

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asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

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  5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, social media, bird head, study, apathy, 5g

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dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

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Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, racism, fired, employees, white supremacist, apathy, career, punch, witness, denial

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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Replacing Robot Head

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Replacing Robot Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machines, rights, robot, technology, survival, suffering, apathy

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Dilbert: I've been asked to replace your head. Robot: Um... what's the survival rate for this operation? Dilbert: No one cares. Robot: I'll need a second opinion. Wally: I don't care either.

Spreading Ted's Ashes

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Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, ashes, cremation, death, spreading, toilet, medical

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Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.

Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors

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Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, assist, favor, guest artist, help, helpful, laziness, john glynn

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Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.

Asok Returns From Fbi

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Asok Returns From Fbi - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags racism, arrest, terrorist, terrorism, protest, friendship, relationship, commitment, apathy, relationships

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Asok: The FBI held me for three weeks on suspicion that I was a terrorist. I assume you were protesting outside the FBI building the entire time and they didn't tell me. Because racism? Dilbert: Oh, right. Yes. We were protesting the entire time.

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

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Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, falling, walking, help, emergency, apathy, Sports

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Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.