Attack Comic Strips - Page 1

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30 Results for Attack

View 1 - 10 results for attack comic strips. Discover the best "Attack" comics from Dilbert.com.

Trial Postponed

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Trial Postponed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #trial, #court, #stupidity, #judge, #dare, #lawyer, #postponed

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dogbert: your trial at the court of stupidity has been postponed. the judge is suffering from a gavel-related injury. dilbert: did you attack him with a gavel? dogbert: didn't need to. the man can't say no to a dare.

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #attack, #boss, #communication, #managers & supervisors, #mistake, #office workers, #technology, #laser, #nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Winning The Nasa Contract

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Winning The Nasa Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #attack, #communication, #earth, #space, #nasa

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Boss: NASA has detected an alien probe heading for earth. We won the NASA contract to contact the aliens using a focused laser beam. Dilbert: Wouldn't that look to them like an attack? Boss: Maybe that's why do one else bid.

Ted Might Drop Dead

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Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical

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Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Drones Attack Dilbert

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Drones Attack Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #engineers, #drone, #drones, #government contract, #contractor, #retaliation, #engineering

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G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!

Government Wants To Kill Dilbert

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Government Wants To Kill Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cyber attack, #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #spying, #surveillance, #privacy, #hiding, #hiding out

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G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

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Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

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Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #types of people, #internet comment, #Opinion, #discussion, #fame, #technology

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Man: I'm Dick, from the Internet. I'm the guy who always says ridiculous, angry stuff. I misinterpret every comment you make as an absurd absolute and then I attack it like you are a moron. Dilbert: That doesn't sound fun. Dick: Wow. So you are saying everything in the world needs to be fun. Maybe you should do some research before you embarrass yourself like that again. Dilbert: Hey! You are the guy from the Internet! Dick: I'm sending you five links that are not as relevant as I think they are. Dilbert: You're famous!

Do Not Attack Me

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Do Not Attack Me - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conflict, #paranoia, #self-fulfilling prophesy

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Dilbert: Are the estimates current? Coworker: Why are you attacking me? Dilbert: I feel like attacking you now. Coworker: I knew it!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secreatry, #booked flight, #smog, #hardened, #machete, #hack tunnel, #asthma attack, #treatment

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Carol: I booked you flight to the polluted capital of Albania. Their smog has hardened into a sold. use this machete to hack a tunnel through it. If you have an asthma attack the treatment is the same as for a sea urchin sting. YOu'll need to urinate on your lungs.