Away From Scoiety Comic Strips - Page 1
474 Results for Away From Scoiety
View 1 - 10 results for away from scoiety comic strips. Discover the best "Away From Scoiety" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 15, 2020's comic on:
dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!
Share May 09, 2020's comic on:
dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.
Share March 27, 2020's comic on:
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
Share February 16, 2020's comic on:
interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.
Share December 29, 2019's comic on:
tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?
Share December 21, 2019's comic on:
alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.
Share October 17, 2019's comic on:
boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.
Share June 10, 2019's comic on:
the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.
Share April 02, 2019's comic on:
dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.