Bank Off Head Comic Strips - Page 1

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View 1 - 10 results for bank off head comic strips. Discover the best "Bank Off Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

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Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement

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ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Boss Isn't Fair

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Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

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dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Dilbert Interrupts Women

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Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #discrimination, #office workers, #interrupt, #woman, #sense, #nincompoop, #babble, #pattern

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tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Wally Takes A Sick Day

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Wally Takes A Sick Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video call, #laptop, #sick day, #work, #unwell, #sick, #work from home, #coffee, #lazy

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boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.

Boss Loves Dilbert

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Boss Loves Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #video call, #love, #wife, #camera, #relationship

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dilbert at home in recliner on video call with boss. voice from laptop: i love you. dilbert: you do? boss: no, not you. i was talking to my wife, who is off camera. no one loves you. dilbert: this was my longest relationship.

Office Nickname

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Office Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cell phone, #nickname, #office, #insulting, #approval, #bad, #start, #permission

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dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.

Taking Time Off

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Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #vacation, #paid time off, #critical, #essential, #system, #migration, #kidding, #success, #zoom, #call, #valuable, #asset, #engagement

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boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.

Ruined The Stock Price

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Ruined The Stock Price  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #stock, #subordinate, #inappropriate, #behavior, #bonus, #money, #paper towel, #ceo, #work

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boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Climate Change And Wally

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Climate Change And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #late, #attendance, #alarm, #power, #phone, #coal power plant, #climate change

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wally to boss and dilbert: sorry i'm late. my alarm didn't go off because my town lost power and my phone battery died. and we lost power because the state closed down the lost coal power plant to reduce co2 emissions. so really, the fault lies with climate change, not me. dilbert: (slow clap)

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #distractions, #estimate, #family issues, #ipad, #video conferencing, #yelling, #zoom, #technology

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dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!