Bed Idea Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

391 Results for Bed Idea

View 1 - 10 results for bed idea comic strips. Discover the best "Bed Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anti Gun Advocates

Thank you for voting.
Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

Thank you for voting.
Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Worst Idea Ever

Thank you for voting.
Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #idea, #savings, #fake, #psychic, #prediction, #money, #unhappy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.

Others Have Failed

Thank you for voting.
Others Have Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #idea, #technology, #rodent, #insult, #cheese, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese

Need To Retrain

Thank you for voting.
Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Boss Recommends Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Wally Wears Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Wally Wears Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #avoidance, #hear, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.

Wally Is New Pet Employee

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.

The Opinionated Old Guy

Thank you for voting.
The Opinionated Old Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

Thank you for voting.
Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #company, #variables

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."