Borrow Crisckets Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

44 Results for Borrow Crisckets

View 1 - 10 results for borrow crisckets comic strips. Discover the best "Borrow Crisckets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Borrows Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #danger, #health & safety, #money, #office workers, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Alice Borrows Stapler

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Borrows Stapler - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office supplies, #face mask, #borrow, #stapler, #paper clip, #coronavirus, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.

The Bad Analogy Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?

Dogbert's Service Human

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #headphones, #borrow, #ears, #reluctant, #smell forever

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: May I borrow your headphones while you're at lunch? Dilbert: would they touch your ears? WALLY: Yes. Dilbert:I reject your request. I don't want cooties on my headphones. Dilbert: Plus, you never return anything you borrow. Wally: Why would you care if my ears touch something you will neve see again? Lets meet halfway. I'll return the headphones, but they will smell of me forever. Dilbert: Then you might as well just keep them! It doesnt feel like he met me halfway.

Can We Borrow An Apron

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #pr, #public relations, #appearances, #homeless, #soup kitchen, #shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #germs, #cleanliness, #bathroom, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.

Tall People And Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tall People And Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #discrimination, #frustration, #money, #retribution, #revenge, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: How can you justify paying me less than tall people and men!!! CEO: Duh. The reason is that you are not as tall and you don't have male body parts. Alice: Can I borrow your scissors?