Broken Copier Comic Strips - Page 1
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71 Results for Broken Copier
View 1 - 10 results for broken copier comic strips. Discover the best "Broken Copier" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 02,
2020
Carol Hoards
Tags #business, #health, #office supplies, #copy paper, #hoarding, #shortage, #coronavirus
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.
Tuesday April 14,
2020
Working On Vacation
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken
Transcript
dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.
Friday October 04,
2019
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall
Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable
Transcript
dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"
Monday July 08,
2019
Boss Needs Copies
Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.
Sunday May 05,
2019
Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat
Transcript
alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.
Sunday December 02,
2018
Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation
Transcript
CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?
Monday September 10,
2018
Device Can Read Minds
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #device, #read, #thoughts, #turn, #computer, #commands, #theories, #engineer, #engineering, #invention, #nothing, #broken
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.
Sunday August 06,
2017
Tags #greed, #scavenging, #cannibal, #furniture, #energy, #vibes, #health
Transcript
Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?
Wednesday May 03,
2017
Tina Has Phone Anxiety
Tags #cell phone, #boredom, #time, #killing time, #anxiety, #addiction, #distraction, #technology
Transcript
Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.
Monday May 01,
2017
Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone
Tags #cell phone, #germs, #cleanliness, #bathroom, #technology
Transcript
Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.