Career Success Comic Strips - Page 1

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307 Results for Career Success

View 1 - 10 results for career success comic strips. Discover the best "Career Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

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Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

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dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

The New Consultant

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The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #success

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the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

How To Reduce Turnover

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How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

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the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner

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Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #career, #information, #office, #problem

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the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.

Wally Has Best Excuse

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Wally Has Best Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #success

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wally: i was tempted to succeed this week, but i caught myself in time. wally: success would improve my odds of mating, and i don't think you want more people like me in this world. the boss: that is officially the best excuse for not working that i have ever heard. wally: shhh! don't compliment me in public!

Potluck Celebration

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Potluck Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #potluck, #friday, #team, #celebration

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the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

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Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Hard Work Is The Key

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Hard Work Is The Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #office, #office workers, #success, #difficult

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Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?

No Recognisiton

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No Recognisiton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations

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Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.

Thankless Tasks

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Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

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Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.