Company For Sale Comic Strips - Page 1
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919 Results for Company For Sale
View 1 - 10 results for company for sale comic strips. Discover the best "Company For Sale" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 07,
2022
Company With Great Skill
Sunday June 13,
2021
Non Disclosure Denied
Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot
Transcript
salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.
Sunday June 06,
2021
Anonymous Sources
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources
Transcript
boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.
Tuesday June 01,
2021
Anythey
Tuesday May 18,
2021
Make Us Look Good
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances
Transcript
ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?
Monday May 17,
2021
Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics
Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement
Transcript
ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.
Tuesday May 11,
2021
Bigoted Against Elbonian Men
Tags #business, #marriage, #office workers, #elbonia, #report, #bigot, #irrelevant, #innocence, #prove, #sale, #flower
Transcript
catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.
Saturday May 01,
2021
Must Register To Date
Tags #business, #love & dating, #managers & supervisors, #company policy, #human resources, #new, #dating, #register, #link, #details, #laptop
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.
Saturday March 27,
2021
Cut Pay For No Commute
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #commute, #employment, #wages, #reduce, #pocket, #stealing, #prison, #innocent, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.
Thursday March 11,
2021
Pandemic Vacation Days
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company policy, #video conference, #vacation day, #vacation, #company rule, #pandemic, #go, #solve, #problem, #laptop
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.