Compensation Comic Strips - Page 1

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44 Results for Compensation

View 1 - 10 results for compensation comic strips. Discover the best "Compensation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

No Raise For Dilbert

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No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #work, #salary

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Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?

Elbonian Slave Labor

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Elbonian Slave Labor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money

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Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Compensation Based On Happiness

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Compensation Based On Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #company culture, #raise, #wages, #job satisfaction, #compensation, #psychology, #money

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Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #salary, #secret, #anger, #compensation, #money, #unfair

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Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?

Days Off Versus More Pay

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Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money

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Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.

New Hire Makes More

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New Hire Makes More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #salary, #compensation, #fairness, #negotiation, #confrontation, #money

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Dilbert: I just found out that the new hire makes more than I do. Boss: It isn't my fault that you're a terrible negotiator. Dilbert: I don't like confrontation. Boss: I know. It saves me a lot of money. Shoo!

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Asok Negotiates With Boss

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Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott

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Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Asok The Uber Driver

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Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #driver, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #money, #compensation, #wages

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Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?