Competitive Bids Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

36 Results for Competitive Bids

View 1 - 10 results for competitive bids comic strips. Discover the best "Competitive Bids" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ethics Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ethics Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #continuing education, #class, #ethics, #organizations, #competitive, #industry, #disadvantage, #worry

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you are all required to complete a class in ethics. dilbert: wouldn't that make us the only ethical organization in our industry and create a competitive disadvantage that leads to our demise? boss: stop your worrying. the class is required, but i'm not expecting any of it to stick.

Criminal Does Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?

Hiring Paul The Criminal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Paul The Criminal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #job, #market, #competitive, #ex-cons, #work, #criminals, #caught, #paul, #data center, #copper, #wire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy, #hyperbole, #exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.

Culture Is Our Greates Strength

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Culture Is Our Greates Strength - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #company, #competition, #obliviousness, #modesty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our greatest strength is our company culture. Dilbert: What's our company culture. Wally: Give us a hint. Boss: We're fiercely competitive. Wally: Do we hide it because we're also modest?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fitness, #competition, #step, #fitbit, #tracker, #technology, #competitive, #exercise, #walking, #Sports, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #wide transformation, #compettetive, #solutions, #pay the most, #consultants, #recommendations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deterioration, #recessions, #20%, #competitive, #industry, #involve crime

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our goal is to grow the top line by 20%. Dilbert: How will we do that with products that aren't competitive in an industry that isn't growing? Wally: Does it involve crime? Dilbert: If it does, blink once.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #4g products, #goodness, #competetive, #g stands for

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: For competitive reasons, we've rebranded all of our 4G mobile products as 8G. Dilbert: I'm curious what the marketing department thinks the "G" stands for. Ted: Guess what doesn't mean "goodness."