Competitive Bids Comic Strips - Page 1
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boss: you are all required to complete a class in ethics. dilbert: wouldn't that make us the only ethical organization in our industry and create a competitive disadvantage that leads to our demise? boss: stop your worrying. the class is required, but i'm not expecting any of it to stick.
Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?
The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.
Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.
Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.
Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.
Boss: Our goal is to grow the top line by 20%. Dilbert: How will we do that with products that aren't competitive in an industry that isn't growing? Wally: Does it involve crime? Dilbert: If it does, blink once.
Ted: For competitive reasons, we've rebranded all of our 4G mobile products as 8G. Dilbert: I'm curious what the marketing department thinks the "G" stands for. Ted: Guess what doesn't mean "goodness."