Computer Help Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Computer Help

View 1 - 10 results for computer help comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Tina Asks For Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Asks For Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, colleague, draft, review, busy, yes, time, sarcastic, sarcasm, suspicious, answer, innocent

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: do you have a few minutes to review my first draft? dilbert: yes. tina: i ask because usually you say you're to busy to help. dilbert: well, i said yes this time. tina: that's funny, because usually you're all, "i'm so busy." but today you have all the time in the world. dilbert: today i'm not busy. tina: i find that suspicious. dilbert yelling: take yes for an answer!!! tina: that's not how innocent people talk.

Simulation Nonsense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Simulation Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.

Wally And The Big Picture

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And The Big Picture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, big picture, fact check, meeting, finish, donut, beat

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: the reason i'm here is to help you look at the big picture. dilbert: i'll need a fact-check on that. i think you stayed over from the last meeting to finish your donut. wally eating a donut: it seems you beat me to the big picture.

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

Wally Helps Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Helps Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplish, business, claim, co-workers, critical, help, lie, managers & supervisors, problem, teamwork, validate, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.

Tina's Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Conflict Resolution

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Conflict Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, anger, office workers, conflict, resolution, discussion, temperature, idiots, yammering, sarcasm, insult

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.

Doubled Income

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubled Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.