Creative Accounting Comic Strips - Page 1
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Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.
Boss: Ted is complaining that you charged your expenses to his project. Dilbert: You told me to be creative because you forgot to fund my project. Boss: I wasn't expecting you to do that. Dilbert: That's what makes it creative. I looked it up.
Dilbert: I couldn't do any work this week because you forgot to ask for funding for my project. Boss: Stop making excuses. Be creative. Ted: Why do you want to know my project charge code? Dilbert: Just curious.
Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.
Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.
Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.
Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.
Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?