Degree In Engineering Comic Strips - Page 1

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307 Results for Degree In Engineering

View 1 - 10 results for degree in engineering comic strips. Discover the best "Degree In Engineering" comics from Dilbert.com.

Redesign Power Button

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Redesign Power Button - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, experience, managers & supervisors, mocking, power button, redesign, sarcasm, team

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boss: can you redesign it so the power button is on the bottom? engineer: absolutely. our professional design team loves it when inexperienced people make suggestions. boss: i can't tell if you're mocking me. engineer: no, you can't.

Elbonian Literature Degree

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Elbonian Literature Degree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags applicant, books, college, degree, education, elbonian, interview, language, major, test taker, translation

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applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.

Anecdotal Testing

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Anecdotal Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, confused, engineering, sarcasm, tests

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Boss: Have you tested this to know it will work? Dilbert: I tested it anecdotally. Boss: I don't know what that word means. Wally: Well played.

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Below Average

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Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering, jobs, math, sarcasm, review

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Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

Not In My Town

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Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, office, office workers, nuclear

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dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, engineering, government, idea, managers & supervisors, math, ocean, research, sarcasm, science, temperature, tests

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Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.

Darkest Before The Dawn

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Darkest Before The Dawn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

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Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?

Adjust The Data

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Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, research, tests, data

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Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineering, frustration, help, office, office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!