Doesn't Fly Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

536 Results for Doesn't Fly

View 1 - 10 results for doesn't fly comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Fly" comics from Dilbert.com.

Public Doesn't Trust Us

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Bigot In Your Mind

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bigot In Your Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, marriage, avoid, bigot, mind, self-deception, real world, Win, hire

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't See Hats  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hat, sarcasm, business, elbonia, big, working, sight, patronizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.

Bookshelves On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bookshelves On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, update, video call, zoom, client, lost, respect, staged, bookshelves, money, payment, deserve, background

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.

Dilbert Interrupts Women

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, discrimination, office workers, interrupt, woman, sense, nincompoop, babble, pattern

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Talking To Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talking To Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, office workers, health, alone time, listen, crazy, hate, talking, fake, empathy, business, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: dogbert doesn't believe me when i tell him i need more alone time for my mental health. wally: why would he listen to you when you're obviously crazy? dilbert: i hate talking to you. wally: should i fake more empathy.

You Make Luck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
You Make Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Elbonian Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, pandemic, elbonian, virus, kill, beards, fuzzy, hat, made

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.